Wednesday the 6th God put it on my heart to fast. At first I was trepidatious about fasting because normally when I go without food for just a day I feel like I will pass out. God was asking me to go 5 days without eating and without speaking. But the phrase that was put on repeat in my mind was God saying “Trust me”. So, starting Wednesday the 13th, I fasted. The first day went by without any problems, and by the grace of God I woke up the next morning and felt fine. No feeling like I would fall over and pass out, I was fine all day. Day 3 is the day that had me fighting. I woke up and could feel the hunger so fully that I sat in the dining area mentally conversing with God saying how much I really wanted to eat. This internal rant went on for about 20 minutes and then God responded by posing a question. The question was this: “I spent 3 days dead. Can you spend 3 days without food?” These are the type of things God knows will get my attention so these are the types of things he says to me. And it worked. I gave him my yes and asked him to get me through the day. Faithful as always God got me through day 3, 4, and 5.
Now the question I got most when I was done was, what did God teach me through my fast? Well to explain that I have to explain why God had me do the fast.
I am the type of person who will think through all the possible outcomes of things before I do them. Good and bad outcomes will make their way through my mind and in the past if the thing had too many negative possible outcomes I would choose to not do it. To make it simple I was letting Fear have a say in my decision making. This would lead me to not listen when God would ask things of me, so to overcome this God had me face it head on. Fasting was something I had never done because many of the possible outcomes I had in my head ended VERY badly. Perfect. I attempted to start my food fast Monday the 11th. I went all of Monday without eating, got up the next day and while I was in the shower felt the familiar feeling of “Get food in me I’m about to pass out!” I asked God what to do and he told me that I could eat but not speak. So Tuesday I ate but passed the day in silence. While I was spending my devotional time with God I asked him what my fast was gonna look like for the rest of the week (Wednesday-Sunday). He said that Wednesday I would restart my food fast and continue with the word fast. So on Wednesday I did just that.
So to answer the question what did God show me through my fast, I would say that above all else he showed me what truly trusting him looks like. By no means was going without food and speech easy. There were times when I would mess up and speak. Days 3, 4, and 5 I was very hungry. I wanted people to talk to me but because I would not talk back they avoided talking to me. Saturday (day 4) I went with my team to one of our ministry partners houses and she made us lunch and them we baked chocolate cake-pops and butter-cookies. But I was able to press into communication with the Father like I’d never done before, I gained the ability to truly identify with the kids at my ministry who go to bed hungry because there was no food for them to eat, and my fears where proven void and null. In the process God in his grace made it easy to say “No” to the offer of food, and took away my desire to have conversations with people. My trust in my Heavenly Father is so much greater and truer now and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.
