Hey y’all! So one thing to know about me is that I like writing my prayers and experiences with God down in journals. I like having those physical records of things I’ve prayed or talked with God about. So for this blog post I’m just going to be sharing some of those journal entries with their dates (if I remembered to put a date on it). I do not promise that these entries are grammatically sound, but seeing as I never really thought about other people reading them when I wrote them I don’t particularly care. So, sorry in advance to all you grammar minded people.
July 10, 2016
Dear God,
You are worthy of all our praise and so much more. Even if I were to be killed for speaking Your name, even that wouldn’t be enough to show You all the praise You deserve. Yet, You tell me that what I bring is perfect and beautiful. So I will continue to praise You with all that I have because it is my joy to give You glory.
God, You have stolen my heart, I can do nothing but love You. You are the one who sustains me and holds me. God, You tell me I am made perfectly clean in Your site, and I pray that You would help me to see what You see, because I am blinded by my mistakes.
God, thank You for showing me how You see, which is who I really am.
You showed me that I AM purified, that I AM worth it. You’ve shown me I AM Your Consecrated Lamb. Thank You.
July 11, 2016
Dear God,
You have given to me a peace that I cannot explain. A freedom I have not felt in a long time. My love for You has never been greater, and it is still growing. The feelings You awaken inside me me are indescribable, and so refreshing.
Inside my heart there has been a change. a change so unexpected, and yet it is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. Truly I can now sing that You’re making me like You. Don’t misunderstand me, I know You always were, but now I have had my eyes opened to it.
God, You take my breath away. Your glory, power,and mercy are so amazing. Thank You for caring about me.
Matthew 7:7-12
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
September 21, 2016
I saw myself standing in a field with Jesus right beside me. Out in front of me I saw a wall of darkness. In my hands were some seemingly harmless weapons, but when I looked at Jesus he showed me how I was to wield them, moving them in a circular motion. As I did this a force came off of them and moved toward the darkness, and when it got to the darkness it pierced it. Then I looked around and I saw hundreds of people, each with a different weapon, and each of them was also using their weapons to pierce the darkness. As we did this, others who were right behind us were emboldened and began to to the same.
We are at war with the evil forces in this world, but we are NOT defenseless. God has armed us and is teaching us how we are to fight, and it’s different for each of us.
February 7, 2018
If love should leave me lost within it bounds,
Then I’ll throw away the map,
Oh to never be found.
Oh I’ll turn away everything I’ve ever knew,
Just to spend one more day being lost with you.
As worship was happening God showed me this vision of me sitting in a wide open field. While I was sitting there I was drawing this map, it was supposed to to be the map of my life. It had all the stops and pit-falls that I had come to in my life, and I was trying to fill in where I was going to go. All of the sudden a powerful wind blew the map out of my hand and at the same time was pushing me in the opposite direction. At first I fought against the wind, and the hared I tried the stronger the wind got. Then i stopped and looked around and standing there laughing at me was Jesus. But the laugh wasn’t condescending or mocking, it was the kind of laugh that builds a person up. I started laughing at myself, and after a bit Jesus took me by the hand and we started walking together in the direction the wind was blowing. Any time the wind changed direction so did we.
March 7, 2018
For as long as I can remember I’ve had the same friends. I can actually remember the first time I met each of them. These are the people that I would do anything for, the people I would do anything with, the people who make me feel safe.
As I’ve grown I have grown away from some and found new ones. But the love I have for each hasn’t changed. What has also never changed despite which of my friends I hang out with, is that I’ve always had a “group”. I’ve always had a “group” of people I was comfortable with. Having this “group” wasn’t good or bad, it was just how I was and am. But it wasn’t until tonight that God helped me see how I had excluded Him from my “group”.
Tonight one of my friends, Abby Church, shared her testimony, and as always when someone shares their testimony, I start to think about mine. As I was thinking about my life I thought, “I’ve always had my group.” And that’s when God asked me, “Am I part of that group?”
As I thought about it I realized that He really wasn’t. God had never in my mind been part of my friend “group”. In my mind the two didn’t mix because I thought, “Oh God, then family, then friends”, that’s how it went. that was the order and the grouping I had in my head. But to be honest in reality the order went, “Friends, family, then God.”
As I thought about that order and God’s question it started to click. God was asking me to change my thinking in order to put Him first. If I don’t think of God as my friend then I’m not going to confide in Him, I’m not going to go to Him with my questions, I’m not going to do any of the things I “know” I should do. So I pray that God will step in, change my mind, and help me put Him first.
