My first fundraiser ended today and MAN OH MAN am I over the moon with Jesus and His provisions for the race. In a matter of a few days I found out that not only did I sell enough shirts to meet the last $660 of my first goal of $5,000 ALMOST TO THE DOLLAR AMOUNT.. but I also was able to sell another 13 shirts between 2-9pm today to be able to make the cost less per shirt. Because of the generosity and kindness of some pretty amazing people I was able to raise $1,140.93 from just my shirt sales!!! HOW INCREDIBLE IS THAT?! Because of that’s generosity I have EXCEEDED my first goal of $5,000 by September 26th and have been able to begin reaching my next goal of $10,000 (overall) by December 13. All thanks to people like YOU who have been giving and praying and supporting.. thank you. So so much.
God is working. He is moving. Fast and furiously He is creating a way for this whole insane journey to take place and come to fruition. I am beyond words at this point.
However.. the enemy is at work too.. and his goal is to crush, steal, destroy. I’ve been experiencing all the emotions, the good and the bad lately. Emotions themself aren’t bad.. it’s how you act on them that’s bad.
and lemme tell you..for those who dont know me..
i usually act on my emotions.
Lately I’ve been struggling with feeling inadequate and man oh man is THAT hard to face when you’re walking into a huge and crazy gigantic journey. I’ve felt the monster of comparison creep slowly back into my heart the past two weeks. Everything from the way I look to my fundraising when compared to my teammates, to other friends doing mission work compared to what we will do on the race, to how I am as a friend to others! The whole big pot of it all being stirred and stirred by the enemy. He has been sneaking and creeping around the walls of my heart and honestly..
I’ve not been guarding it as I should be..
I haven’t been filling my heart with words from JESUS or talking to Him about how I’ve been feeling and it’s shown. It’s shown in how I’ve treated people around me and it’s shown in my lack of confidence and my demeanor. To this and all of those monsters of comparison I say
NO MORE.
Not today Satan. Not today enemy. Joy killers. Thieves in the night. Not today spirit crushers. Not today happiness stealers. Not today. I won’t do it anymore and I can’t do it anymore. It’s sucking life from me! JESUS HAS THE FINAL WORD. THE CROSS HAS THE FINAL SAY in who I am. What I do. Where I go. Not the enemy.
HE HAS NO PLACE HERE.
Our emotions are our emotions and they can come out of nowhere at times but again.. it’s what we DO with those emotions that counts.
Will we live out of the monsters of comparisons? The demons of doubt? The enemies of fear? OR will we rise above as Jesus does and calls us to do also and live our lives the way the enemy is TERRIFIED of us doing – out of knowing we are CHOSEN. BEAUTIFUL. LOVED. SONS AND DAUGHTERS. WELCOMED. SOUGHT AFTER. WORTH IT. FOUGHT FOR.
As I have to remind myself so often… you are loved tonight dear one.
