I come home in less than 2 weeks. For the past 2 years the race has been basically all I could think about. I thought about the people and the ministry and the countries but I never really thought about the end of the race. Honestly most of the race, it felt like the end would never come. There were days when home was all I could think about it felt too good to be true that I would ever actually go home again, but there were also days when I was so filled with ministry and the people around me that in those moments I could’ve stayed forever.
We’ve been asked so many times, “How do you feel about going home?” And being honest I’ve really never felt so many emotions at the same time. I feel excited, anxious, sad, ready, peaceful, stressed, more excitement and so much joy.
I’m so excited for air conditioning, flushing toilet paper, eating chick fil a, driving my car, being alone, not waking up every hour to check for centipedes in my bed, and seeing all of my people.
but also,
The past 9 months I’ve lived with 30 of the greatest people I’ve ever met. It’s hard to describe how much joy and disappointment we’ve been through together and how much they feel like family. They love hard and never fail to challenge and encourage me. Home will be so sweet but I’m also going to grieve the richness of living with these people. After sleeping in rooms with 5 to 40 people with me, sleeping alone will feel pretty lonely.
I’ve experienced a great amount of growth in the past 9 months but not in the ways you would’ve expected. Before the race I was expecting to come out a completely different person at the end, I thought I would come home and everyone would tell me I’ve completely changed. I was expecting life changing miracles and spiritual awakenings and the wildest stories no one would believe, but that’s not what happened at all. I’m the same person that left 9 months ago. I laugh at the same things, love the same things, still hate tomatoes and my neck still turns red lol. I never thought the moments that would change me the most would be so small, it was looking into the eyes of Haitian woman in the Dominican, and mopping the floor for the 100th time in Costa and the Lord meeting me in the silence in Georgia that changed me the most. I have a bigger appreciation for pastors and missionaries and mothers. I listen a little better than I did before. I think a little more before I speak. I feel things more deeply and cry a little more easily. I know the Lord’s voice. I know most of the time it’s not a loud shout but a quiet whisper that’s easy to miss if you aren’t listening. Also I’m way better at killing bugs haha.
So coming home I’m asking for a lot of grace. I don’t know what it’s going to be like to be back in fast -paced American Culture. Life was been really slow for the past 9 months and I might be overwhelmed making plans, being alone all the time or trying to explain “How was your trip?” in less than 30 seconds. Also I know life didn’t stop when I left so I want to hear everything happening in your life too!!
See you in 11 days!!!
