Hello from Pennsylvania! I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas with your family and friends! Its hard to believe that I have been home for a month now! I am so very blessed to have the family that God gave me and it has been such a joy catching up with them and spending Christmas with them. However, I have to say, the transition home has been more difficult than transitioning to Asia. I went from living with six girls in one small room to having my own room and my own space which sounded very nice coming home but now I tend to feel lonely at times. I went from living out of a suitcase to having overflowing drawers of clothes I don’t even wear. The first thing I had to do when I got home was reorganize and get rid of the clothes and shoes that I didn’t need. A few trash bags later(that will be sent to Goodwill), and my room is finally beginning to feel a little more cozy and less chaotic. I also went from helping, supporting, laughing, worshipping Christ and dancing with 20 some orphans everyday to a life that tends to feel purposeless. I went from a go-with-the-flow type of mentality with roughly two hours in the mornings to set apart for quiet time with God to a fast paced society that is so draining, self-centered and chaotic. One of the biggest things that I have been working on is disciplining myself to spend time in the Word and to set apart quiet time with God everyday. It was so easy to do there. Here, not so much. Not unless you are very deliberate with how you spend your time…which I have been trying my hardest to do. Though it requires giving up some time to sleep, it is so worth it and allows God to set your day rather than your day to set your day.
If you are interested in watching it, I attached a video link below this blog. A couple of my team members and I were asked to make a two minute video of our testimony, or something that God did in us during our three months in Cambodia and Thailand. It was very hard for me to fit something like that into two minutes. As you can see, mine is slightly over three minutes. Haha! God did so many things in me during my time there. If you kept up with my blogs, you read about some of the amazing things that God spoke to me and set me free from. One of the biggest things He set me free from- my anxiety. He told me at training camp, before we left, that I would come home and not need to refill my prescription. My anxiety medication ran out the day I got home and I haven’t refilled it, or needed it, since!! Knowing where my anxiety was just a few months ago, to no longer existing, has been such a miracle in itself. He has healed me from so many things that caused my anxiety in the first place. Knowing that, it was really hard for me to come back to Huntingdon, PA – the town that held a lot of sad memories, painful moments and even happy memories that I simply wanted to forget. The town where I’ve questioned my worth and my value. The town where Satan has used people and situations to make me believe that I am not good enough. “Not a good enough Christian” because throughout my four years of high school there have been people I tried to help and lead to Christ and they ended up becoming an atheist, addicted to drugs or have hurt me in the end. Though I know now that “not being good enough” is a lie from Satan, it was really hard for me to come back to this town. But after a lot of prayer and trying to walk through open doors that closed at the last second, God made it very clear that this is where He wants me to be right now. I have no clue what even these next few months hold. I don’t have a “five year plan”. My “semester off” has now turned into a gap year over night. I do not understand. But my job isn’t to understand. My job is to be obedient. “Where You go, I’ll go. Where You stay, I’ll stay.” I always referred to this quote when it came to international mission trips. I never thought He’d ask me to go to my home town and stay here. For some reason, it is easier for me to say “yes” to Thailand, El Salvador or Ecuador but its so hard for me to say “yes” to Huntingdon, PA. However, this is where He wants me right now and He has been faithful. Though this town is the root of my anxiety and the lies Satan once spoke into me, my anxiety is no more and I have new roots of truth growing inside of me. Maybe by the end of the year I will be saying “yes” to somewhere else…maybe I won’t. But either way, as long as I am in the center of His will, that is the safest place to be.
I want to thank all of you so much for keeping my team and I in your prayers during our three months in Asia. I also want to say a huge thank you to those of you who have helped me meet my financial needs of $6,900 in such a short amount of time. I will forever be thankful for all of your help and for listening to Christ when He laid it on your hearts to help me. I would not have been able to experience those beautiful three months without all of you. Thank you again! Merry Christmas and I hope you all have a Happy New Year!
