The fact that 2019 is over is surreal to me! This past year was filled with so much growth, forgiveness, healing, and freedom! Thank you Jesus!!
As I sit here and reflect, it seems like this year just flew by. Especially these last couple of months! The holidays are over and I leave for the World Race in just a little over a week… 1 WEEK! wow wow wow!
What has seemed like my never ending to-do list of getting things in order is finally dwindling down. I’ve received all my vaccines and have gotten nearly everything I needed on my packing list. I have packed and repacked about 20 times already. My “see ya laters” have already started. I’ve been trying to stay focused on the “here” and the “now”… while also praying into and over what this next year on the field will hold for my squad and I.
One of the greatest things that’s come from this season of preparation leading up to the race has been getting to live back at home with my family over the last couple of months! I have been able to spend more time with my parents and sisters than I have in many years and it has been so so sweet. This season has been such a precious GIFT.
But as my days at home have gotten fewer and fewer, and my days to launch have gotten closer… I have noticed the enemy really trying to creep back in to my heart and mind.
I was talking with my team on the phone last week and we were discussing how we’re all really struggling with processing the many different emotions we’ve been feeling. We also talked about discernment and needing to discern if some of what we are facing right now could be lies from the enemy or simply just a lot of emotions that need to be processed.
After we got off the call, I was talking with God and asking Him to help me discern what all has been going on inside me lately.
What I heard from the Lord was that it was both of those things. Mostly just healthy emotions that are an integral part of the process that comes with grieving when seasons change and new chapters begin. But mixed into all the emotions, were also some shame filled thoughts i’d been letting creep back in that were certainly not coming from Him. And that I needed to turn to Scripture to replace these lies with Truth.
Learning how to discern and replace lies of the enemy, with Truth has been a process that hasn’t been easy nor has it just happened over night.
I really started working on this about a year ago when I was living in Colorado. A dear friend and mentor from my church there encouraged me to spend an entire weekend alone with God, writing down every thought that I believed to be true about myself and then proceed to write out next to each one, what Scripture says to be true. When we met the next week for coffee, I told her how I had filled up pages and pages in my journal with everything I had been believing about myself and my life and the Truth that God had revealed to me through His Word.
A couple of the biggest Truth’s I started really believing and walking in through this last year were –
- “I am unlovable” turned into “I AM LOVED”
- “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3
- “Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.” Psalm 136:26
- “This is how God showed his love among us- He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.” 1 John 4:9
- “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
- “I am insignificant / worthless” turned into “I AM CHOSEN AND VALUED”
- “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
- “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
- “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7
- “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” John 15:16
My friend then encouraged me to turn back to that journal and re-read those Truth’s over and over and to even speak them aloud to myself until I began to truly believe wholeheartedly in God’s word over those “beliefs” I had been holding on to for years.
This began something really, really beautiful in my walk with the Father. One thing I quickly realized is that I hadn’t ever actually recognized these things as lies until I was able to replace them with the Truth of Scripture. And it was only then that I was able see that these things I had believed to be true for so long, weren’t actually true at all!
It was really the start of learning what it looks like to discern and see if what I am believing to be true is in line with God’s character, who He says I am, and what His Word proclaims. And over this past year, the more I have put this into practice, the more I have seen how important it is to simply pause, and examine my thoughts / feelings / beliefs in light of Scripture.
And my goodness, it has been a process that the Lord has used to bring so much FREEDOM through.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
As we are starting a new year… a new decade actually (wow), I encourage you to spend some time writing down some of the things that you consistently think and believe about yourself, your life, your purpose and even things you believe about who God is! If it lines up with His word, incredible! Keep pressing into that Truth and goodness. If not, see if you can replace it with who God says you are, and spend some time reflecting on and even speaking that Truth over yourself!
God wants so badly to see us walking in the Truth of His Word and the freedom that comes in believing and knowing you are who He says you are!
Soo… Happy New Year! You are loved and treasured and I hope you choose to rest in and walk in that TRUTH and much more of God’s goodness this year! 2020, I am so ready and so excited for you!
