Hey everyone hope all has been well. So we finished up our first month of ministry, I cannot believe how fast that went. I wanted to share one of the major areas where God is moving within my heart. For the first couple of weeks I really wrestled with comparison. This is such a bad thing to start doing, comparison is the plan of the enemy and we should always resist falling into this temptation. And we all fall into this temptation, whether we are comparing ourselves to our siblings, friends, neighbors or coworkers, once we start, the lies come in. We start thinking we lack or are better off than others, leading to many emotions including doubt, shame or pride.
For me, I started comparing myself to others around me and how my walk with Christ differed from theirs. Comparing our walk with Jesus to others can be so discouraging and the enemy will use this to prevent further in growth Him, growth He wants to give and give abundantly. I have found myself doing this often since putting my faith in Jesus. I would and still do look at others and think man, I will never have that amount of Biblical knowledge or that intimate of a relationship with The Holy Spirit. But, this month has been really great and He has been speaking truth into my heart. I have to remember that revelations that come from Christ are revealed on His time, the perfect time. He is always with us and He knows right where we are at. Imagine and remember what it feels like to have someone flip on very bright lights while you have been in a darkened room sleeping, it hurts right? Our Father knows this and many times, slowly brings revelations to light for each of us. And we should thank God for that. I could not imagine what I would have done if I had been instantly exposed to His goodness and Truth.
Over the last two years I have often felt overwhelmed at the rate my heart and life has been changing. I cannot tell you how many times I would go into my therapist’s office asking if I was going crazy. The revelations God was giving me about my past actions and how so many circumstances were all entwined. The peace these revelations brought, literally made me think I was going insane. I did not think that type of peace and understanding was possible.
So everything in my past has led me to this point, now I’m on The World Race. One of the things I’ve been comparing myself to others is, speaking in front of people about my faith. I would compare myself to others who seem to be good at speaking and immediately allow negative feelings take over. The enemy knows this and would love for me to keep my mouth shut about how great and freeing life in Christ is. Thank God that He has bigger plans to glorify Himself through me, and thank God that He knows me. Over the last couple years He has taught me how to share my story, first speaking one front of one person, my therapist. Then He put me on this path where I have been able to share my testimony with smaller groups of people at first while at training camp. Then over the last month He has put me up in front of full classrooms and even in front of a whole congregation to speak about how He has completely changed my life. Sharing the details of my life in front of strangers has gotten so much easier, and I have Him to thank for it. I am glad I am not allowing comparison to take control of my life and preventing me from sharing my faith with others. This is one example of how I let comparison affect my actions. Lord knows there are many other areas I am allowing comparison to control my thoughts. I can trust since I’ve given my heart over to Him, He will be faithful to His word and have the Holy Spirit change my heart in those areas, on His time, the perfect time. And when that time comes for each of us, we will all find that when we are in Christ, there is no comparison.
