I had a bunch of blogs written when I was on the field but never got around to posting them. Anything I post I’ve prayed for it to be prompted by the Spirit and not my flesh. So I will utilize this platform as long as I’m able or until my blog is shut down but we all know truth can never be silenced.
One of my favorite things are bold prayers. I’m talking dangerous prayers that put huge targets on your back and beckons for all of Hell to want to eliminate you. The kind of prayers that test everything you are made of so you will pass through fire and come out with nothing of yourself. Those are the types of prayers I’ve gotten serious about for the past 5 years and I can tell you that my life has been torn apart and left me with gut wrenching pain that have me on knees crying out to the Lord often. I will also tell you that it has been so rewarding and I look and act more like Jesus today than I ever imagined when I first truly surrendered my life. I will share some of the prayers I’ve been actively seeking the Lord on and I don’t share any of this out of false humility but to encourage you to step out of the boat of comfort to let the Lord shake up the way you view prayer because He’s so worth this kind of devotion and you are worth living this effectively for the Kingdom.
“Humble me”
God hates arrogance (Proverbs 16:5; Proverbs 6:16). He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5; Proverbs 3:34). The bible has much to say on the subject and I know I’ve delayed my own healing due to pride. When I prayed this upon recovering from my stroke He gave me a trial where I was heavily gossiped about in the church by women in position of leadership. I walked around with a huge scarlet letter that wasn’t even true and yet the Lord asked me to ignore those claims even though I could feel the wrong judgement with every eye on me. I continued to go to church and stood firm in Him without ever defending myself. In time He removed those rumors and lifted me up to honor (1 Peter 5:6). Recently on the race, I found myself hotly in disagreement with some of the decisions made by leadership. I had a hard time discerning whether those feelings were just or if it was out of pride and personal bias. I prayed for the Lord to humble me and make me low. A week later I was swiftly sent home under fabricated claims that I was suicidal. Satan is a liar and an accuser of the brethren who throws my past in my face all the time. The way I see it, the only way to walk in humility is to be placed in situations where you are slandered, falsely accused, and belittled. To be overlooked for positions you think you deserve and to be misunderstood.
“Teach me patience”
This is a sort of universal taboo thing to pray for because you will undoubtedly be put in situations that absolutely drive you insane. A few years back I struggled immensely with road rage and wanted to be free from this. I live in Florida with some of the worst drivers on the planet and after I prayed for patience I think I encountered nearly every driver that pissed me off for all sorts of reasons. Traffic suddenly became implemented in my routine and I was almost always late for work because of it. When I was a student mentor I was given the most challenging group of girls that pushed me to nearly quit every week. I stuck it out with them and there was so much fruit yielded from that time but I had the rebellious, the rude, and the most hurting girls in that youth group. They pushed me in ways that required me to get on ground level with them and walk at their pace. It forced me to love and forgive them over and over and over when they hated me for a good amount of time. When they pushed me away and took a stand against me I learned to love like Christ, patiently waiting with arms wide open. Wow how He has reformed my heart to not dismiss people so quickly and how He has illuminated to me how merciful and slow to anger He is (Psalm 103:8).
“Let your will be done”
After getting tired of doing things in my own strength and wanting to wholeheartedly follow Him I prayed this and he called me to a secular job where I got heavily marginalized by managers who constantly sought me out with malicious intent. Put under a microscope and framed for things to make it look as though I wasn’t working with integrity. He has taught me to pray for my enemies and do good to them (Matthew 5:44) He also used that battleground to have me boldly share my faith where He wanted His glory manifested. Wanting His will however is something I’ve had such an aversion to because it is the antithesis of what I want. A few years back when the Lord removed a relationship and called me lukewarm all I wanted was to be fully immersed in His will. The race is where I came with the intention of going to the ends of the earth (Mark 16:15) in all sincerity wanting to fulfill the commission He put on believers. Yet my time on the race was scattered with distractions from discontentment of teams, attitudes of entitlement, jealousy and other things that did not matter. It completely clouded my initial desire to serve on the race and did I ever let selfishness steal from me and those around me. It is a painful lesson indeed and why it’s something I continue to pray for.
“Give me more faith”
I prayed this for so many years and wrestled with some serious doubts because of it. I questioned God’s goodness for the majority of my walk. I’ve spent my entire life battling some form of illness or autoimmune condition which has challenged me to take a good look at what I actually believe about healing. Embrace the doubts. Understand that if what you believe is true, it can stand up against all questions. Truth does not fear a challenge. There is no other way for your faith to grow than for your faith to be tested (1 Peter 1:7).
“Lord soften my heart”
I’ve prayed this one daily for the past year because I’ve spent many years building a fortress around my heart and I struggle to trust God and people because of it.
“Here I am send me” (Isaiah 6:8)
We want to be used by God for great things in His Kingdom, but His path to greatness usually does not mirror what we had in mind. God’s path to greatness usually leads to prison, death, and the gates of hell. When we pray this prayer, we will often be faced with a choice between two ministry positions, one that leads to honor, glory, and fame, and one that leads to obscurity and insignificance. From the world’s view my life has amounted to barely anything sitting in at the bottom of the barrel of society and yet that is where I find His will for my life.
Other high risk prayers I’ve prayed for:
“Break my heart for what breaks Yours”
“Give me Your eyes to see people”
“Use me to reach the hardest people on the squad”
“Let me die to myself”
“Use me however You want”
God has an uncanny way of wooing us into obedience and submission. Our flesh may protest; our fears may paralyze us. But in the end, if we will simply lift our hands in surrender, grace takes over. He gives us power, strength and a willing heart. And the results are supernatural because it is God at work in us. The most dangerous prayer I have found in the bible has to be Psalm 139:23 “Search me, God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Do you truly want to know what’s in your heart that is above all else deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9)? If you ever really listen to the worship songs you sing do you actually mean it before God? ‘Here’s my heart, Lord speak what is true’ or ‘Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders’ or my favorite ‘rid me of myself I belong to You lead me to the Cross’. Many times if you want to be close to the Lord you will be required to be brokenhearted because He is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He never drops refinement on us that is free from suffering. If you want to be more like Jesus you will have to pick up your cross and deny yourself (Matthew 16:24). Jesus, our perfect model, prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before He was to be crucified, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Jesus sweated blood He was in so much anguish over this and yet to the point of death He still asked for the Father’s will to prevail over his own. I know I’m miles behind resembling this same posture of heart but He has taken a person once so set on her own will and has me running in the opposite direction ready and willing to glorify His name at the expense of my own desires. I actually welcome a ruined life because it means that my glory won’t come of it. Prayers like these excite me and I pray they will take root in your own heart and I pray you prepare yourself to receive these prayers through trials, tribulations and a wrecked life for the Kingdom.
