“I HOPE YOU FAIL.”
It’s easy to hear those words and be offended – but what if you heard them with an open heart and open mind?
That’s exactly what happened to me and my team at Debrief in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Our squad mentor (Amy Heitzman) prayed that we would be bold enough to fail at something this month. And that is exactly what I’ve been doing this month.
My whole life, I have had a FEAR OF FAILURE. Maybe you can relate. I’ve had a conscious and unconscios fear that if I did not perform, or be the best, or execute with perfection, or achieve “success”, that I would not be loved. That might sound dramatic, but it is at the root of who I am and why I do things (if I’m being completely honest).
This month, I have made it a goal to fail at something: to try something that I might not be perfect at, to push myself even more outside of my comfort zone, and to be ok with imperfection.
So far this month, these are the things that I’ve done that I could have “failed” at:
- I PREACHED – BUT I’M NOT A PREACHER.
- I am not a preacher. I preached. Twice.
- The first time on the race that I preached was actually in Bali. I was sitting in the audience and in the middle of the pastor’s sermon, he called me up in front of the church to share an experience I had, which I related back to scripture. He gave me no forewarning or heads up. He just called me up, so I went.
- The second time I preached on the race was this month in Malaysia. I had less than two hour’s notice to preach an entire message for the service that night. Instead of being nervous, I just said yes. I preached on Ephesians 6:10-20 (The Whole Armor of God). The thing is, my shoes were so readily laced with the Gospel of peace that I was more than prepared to preach at the drop of a hat. I had been so in my Word that I was more than prepared, even if I didn’t think I was. I hadn’t prepped and practiced like I normally would, but I did it.
- I TAUGHT – BUT I’M NOT A TEACHER
- This month, we are helping at a special needs school, as well as tutoring children at night to help them with their English. The first day that I arrived at the special needs school, I was ushered into a classroom of about 15 kids and teenagers ranging in mental and physical ability. The teacher looked at me and said, “You teach. I go. You’re only job, besides teaching, is to make sure that girl doesn’t run away (as she pointed to one of the students).”
- I had no clue what to teach the kids. I had never taught a class by myself, let alone special needs in a foreign country. In that moment, I felt totally unequipped. However, I just started praying in my mind for God, The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit to PLEASE HELP ME!!! And that’s is exactly what happened. I taught the class for over an hour, by myself, in a foreign country, to a challenging student group. Guess what? I didn’t fail. There might have been crayons on the floor, a student holding my hand in front of the classroom imitating me with big gestures, and there might have been rice all over the wall as I tried to help the students eat with chopsticks (which I struggle with as well). It might not have been text book perfect, but I did it.
- I SANG – BUT I’M NOT A SINGER.
- At Debrief earlier this month, someone added me to the Worship leader GroupMe text thread. At first, I thought it was a joke – or a mistake. I actually laughed at the thought of leading worship. However, someone must have seen me (or heard me!) in that role.
- Last week at church just before the service began, the worship leaders on stage motioned for me to come join them. They wanted me to sing and lead worship with them – in front of the entire church. In the past, this would have terrified me. I hate singing on stage. I do not think I have a good voice. Yet again, I felt totally out of my element. I might have been off key at times, I might have fumbled the words a bit, and there might have even been a hole in the back of my skirt (which my fellow teammate later graciously informed me of – OOOPS!!!)! But I sang. It wasn’t perfect, but I did it – hole in my pants and all!
So I leave you with this challenge and question: What are you going to “fail“ at?
From my experience, you will be surprised at what you can actually accomplish.
Simply not trying is the sole definition of failing.
“Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy,”
– Jude 1:24
From One Failure to Another ~ Sending you lots of Grace Filled Love,
Hannah Maher
