So many things have popped into my mind as I have been preparing for this trip. I have had nights of doubt and woke up scared, with the thought, “What if I can’t”?
Over and over I think, “Am I really sure that this is what I am supposed to be doing”? I am worried that somehow I chose the wrong path and that I will fail in Ecuador and Peru. But my mind flashes back to a lesson that was shared with me on a church retreat a year ago, then my worries seem rather silly.
When I question if I am on the right path, if I am equipped enough, if I will show love well enough…well I’m really questioning God. It is human to want to question God, but isn’t it silly to think that the creator of you and I, would send me on a path that I am not equipped for? The God that knew I would be taking this journey well before I was even a thought to my parents, the God who has been shaping me into who I am, the God who gave me my gifts and created them specifically for me, and let’s not forget the God who died for me because his love for me and you is crazy unfathomable, would not have opened these doors for me if it was not a part of his plan.
Sometimes God allows many doors to open and we get to choose. He loves us and knows we could handle one or the other, so we pick which one we think is right. God is not all of the sudden surprised by our decision. If we go left instead of right, God follows us to the left and he uses us there.
God has been orchestrating my life so perfectly, that not one piece is out of place. Not one moment has gone past God’s eyes. Every emotion I’ve felt, he has felt also. So why should I question the God who has never stopped preparing me and never stopped equipping me for his kingdom? God goes before me, He has prepared me because he loves me. So, I can.
