Can I be real for a minute? Would that be okay? This season on the race, WAS ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING. okay, now that I’ve been dramatic, let me tell you about it.
We’ve been in Peru for going on 4 weeks now. In those four weeks, two were manual labor, one was standing in the sun all day all the streets talking to people in a different language, and one week was restful and refilling. The order of those weeks went as follows :
Week 1: stand in the streets & share the gospel.
Week 2: manual labor, in the sun, on the side of a sand dune, with an hour and a half bus ride to ministry & an hour and a half bus ride home from ministry. Children’s programs on Saturday & Sunday. Adult program Sunday night.
Week 3: reorganization of storage closets, scraping, sanding, then painting walls & gates. Also, working with special needs children & adults. Deaf church on Sunday.
Week 4: manual labor, in the sun, on the side of a sand dune, with an hour and a half bus ride to ministry & an hour and a half bus ride home from ministry. A children’s program Friday night (including sports ministry) Saturday night. A women’s program Saturday evening. Then Sunday, a church service followed by sports ministry with children again.
So, as you can see, it’s been a long month. We’ve only had one off day a week this month. Which is a big switch up from what we did in Ecuador, even though we only lost one off day. It made a big impact. We no longer had to only manage our time well; we also had to manage our energy well.
For our first two weeks, I didn’t understand why God placed us here. We had been sharing the gospel so well in Ecuador. I felt useful in Ecuador. I felt like we were living out the Great Commission in Ecuador. But here, I felt stumped. I felt like I wasn’t reaching anyone anymore. I felt like God had kind of forgotten about me & what He called me to here. I looked around the desert, at its vast emptiness, and that’s exactly how I felt. Empty. I felt like I was trying to pour from an empty cup. So, I leaned into Jesus. I knew He hadn’t forgotten about me, even if that’s how I felt. I started using the long bus rides to listen to sermons, do devotionals, listen to worship music, and pray.
It took a few days, but then I felt God working in me. I felt my attitude change. I felt my perspective change. Everything began to shift. I quit asking “why am i here” and I began to ask “how can I serve better here”
You see, moving rocks out of a dirt road made no sense to me. Shoveling holes in the side of a sand dune, to plant trees, seemed absolutely pointless. I mean, there was no water, the environment was harsh, how could something ever grow there? But as my attitude shifted and I opened my heart more, I saw how much it meant to the community we were doing it for.
God isn’t surprised by our situations, you see. He placed me in a season so I would grow. He placed me in the desert, to prove that beautiful things can still happen in non-beautiful places. This entire trip, God has physically shown me what He is spiritually doing inside of me. He placed me in the desert while I felt like i was going through a desert.
But God was in the desert with me. God gave me revelation in the desert. I was literally being the hands, feet, arms, and legs of Jesus. I was literally getting to work hard for people who prayed for able bodies to help them change their community. God showed me that working in where He has placed me, means just as much as telling someone about Him. He showed me that actions speak louder than words.
Here’s another poem the Lord gave me 🙂
“ it’s dry here
it’s desolate here
it’s empty here
what is this place
where are You
I look around
for miles in front of me
it’s all empty
there is only sand
where did You go
the last place
it was green
it was alive
it was beautiful
i saw You there
i felt You there
i knew You were there
but here here Abba
i don’t see You
i don’t understand
where did You go
why am i here
what’s the purpose here
the last season
it was so beautiful
it was so full of life
it was full of excitement
it was energetic
but here
it’s hard here
it’s tiring here
it’s sweat and determination here
it’s not for me to understand here
its not a surprise
to You that i am here
You placed me here
You wanted me here
You taught me here
You needed me here
I had to surrender here
i had to be here
i had to lean into You here
You were here
all along
You were here “
Thanks for reading my blog! Stay tuned for a new blog next week about final debrief/adjusting to going home!
