Dying to self… sounds easy enough, right?
Before coming on the world race, I thought I was good at dying to self- at living a life of servanthood. I thought i could easily give up my ways to serve others, even complete strangers. Ya know? I have done plenty of serve days through church, practiced servanthood with my friends and family, and gave up my wills and desires to follow the Lord. As it turns out I was good at serve days, because it was only a few hours out of a day that I had to be selfless. That was easy peasy. It was easy to serve my friends and family, I love them, no brainer there. Did I fully give up my wills and desires, or did I incorporate them into what the Lord had in store for me?
Now, this isn’t exactly a bad start. I mean, it’s a great foundation. HOWEVER with any structure, if you quit building after you have a solid foundation, you don’t have a masterpiece to look at. It’s only been 7 days since I was dropped off at training camp, and we’ve only been in Quito since 1AM Monday morning (9/2/19) and it is now Wednesday (9/4/19). In these short 7 days, the Lord has reveled to me that my selflessness and servanthood does not stretch as far as I thought it would. I’m thankful we have a sweet sweet Jesus who shows us where we’re lacking & where we need to bear more fruit.
As I was reading my bible, the Lord showed me Matthew 10:38-39 “And whoever doesn’t take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Anyone finding his life will lose it, and anyone losing his life because of Me will find it.” (HCSB??) and Matthew 16: 25-27 “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it. What will it benefit a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his life? Or what will a man give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man is going to come with His angels in the glory of His Father, and then He will reward each according to what he has done.” (HCSB)
The Lord has reminded me of who He calls me to be. He reminded me of who I strive to be. He refreshed my servanthood this morning. Taking up your cross isn’t a one time thing, taking up your cross means everyday. Everyday we have to wake up, and say less of me and more of You, Lord. It means we can’t die to self once; it is a daily practice. It’s easy to serve those you know and love, but that’s not what Jesus commanded us to do. I have to die to self, and serve like Jesus served to the people the Lord brought on the race with me- who I’ve only known for 7 days. I have to serve my host & his family. I have to serve in ministry. EVERYDAY. not just for the next three months, that’s just building a strong structure on my solid foundation. It’s a lifestyle. And maybe by the time my work on this earth is done, I’ll have a beautiful structure to reflect on.
