You know, this past week and a half in our new ministry spot has honestly sometimes been pretty hard and frustrating and exhausting and painful and SO unbearabley hot! To be real, sometimes I don’t even want to get out of bed because of it. I have gotten distracted by feeling like I’m missing out on big things at home, and I’m overwhelmed by the transition of ministry sites that I forget to take quiet times with the Lord. I have not felt confident in speaking up when it comes to my relationship with Jesus because of how other’s personal relationships with Him are. I struggle with comparison and I find myself pleasing people rather than sharing my own opinion. To be honest, I always dismissed the idea that this trip wouldn’t be easy.
This past week in our new ministry spot has not all been sunshine and goodness. We are not here JUST dancing with kids, playing fútbol, constantly laughing, and being joyful all the time (even though there is plenty of that too). This week I was hit hard with the reality that this trip is not just fun, it’s not just joy, it’s not just perfect relationships. We are a group of strangers coming from different backgrounds and with different personalities. So honestly, why did I seriously think this would be EASY?
The other day we had a team time late at night and were asked to step out and be vulnerable with our struggles and feelings so far. After days of feeling unwanted and ignored, I stepped out of my comfort zone and shared my frustration with the team. Talking about these things are hard, but knowing that I’m surrounded by sisters in Christ who’s goal is the same as mine– to be better Jesus followers and to deeply grow our personal relationships with him–I felt supported. I saw motivation from my team to make me feel just as needed and wanted in the Kingdom as everyone else.
We have to be bold and step out of our comfort zones to fully press into ministry and life with God. If we are told to go one mile, we are to go two miles (Mateo 5:41). We aren’t called into a perfect and simple life of ministry. We go and do even when it’s hard. We have uncomfortable conversations even when we’re scared. It’s grows us and lifts us higher. I’m so thankful for the growth in this place. I’m so thankful for the team I get to do life with. God knows what he’s doing by putting me in this place with these people. Just because we are called to a place doesn’t mean everything will be perfect, but he will move through the imperfection and make life and relationship and ministry SO good!
