So far in 2020, God has taught me three very important lessons. They’ve impacted me so much that I wanted to share them with you. They’re lengthy so I decided to spilt them into a three part series.
Pt 2 – Purpose
Summer 2017. I was living in my apartment in Hendersonville and had come home from my second job. I lived on the third floor, so I had a nice view of the stars from my balcony. I grabbed some fuzzy socks and a blanket, sat in my rocking chair, and had a God date.
This was the year I got serious about my relationship with the Lord and I loved sitting on my balcony at night looking up at the stars and just talking to Him. To this day I believe those were some of my most honest prayers. I wish I had taken the time to write them down so I could look back on all He’s done. This one night in particular though, man it was something special. It shook me. I texted a friend close to midnight that night telling her I had this awesome encounter with God and that I needed to tell her about it at our bible study and ended up sharing with the whole group haha. It’s a night I always look back to and call my balcony moment.
As much as I loved my God dates, that week I just felt heavy. I felt like I was getting it all wrong. I was doing it all wrong. I was all wrong. Like I wanted to be the perfect Christian who followed the rules and everything worked out and it was easy. Like why wasn’t it easy? Life is far from that, isn’t it? I just couldn’t understand how I was here and ready, wiling to do good and be good but nothing would work out. Doors were closing. People were leaving. Plans were changing. But for some reason I didn’t feel like I could tell God those things, share my true feelings. I wasn’t being honest with Him. Idk maybe I didn’t want to offend Him. Maybe I didn’t trust Him. Maybe I was mad at Him. Kinda all of it lol.
But it’s like the Holy Spirit whispered to me that He lived inside me and that when I don’t know what to say, He does. And then Jesus telling me that because of His sacrifice on the cross, the veil had been torn and I could approach the Father boldly without anything holding me back. And that it was okay to get real with God, to be honest with Him. So I did.
I let God know all my dreams and fears, hopes and disappointments, what I wanted and what I couldn’t understand, and best of all how I thought He should be doing His job. I specifically remember telling Him that if He would just tell me what to do, I would do it. Like I wanted to follow Him. I wasn’t wavering in my want to follow and please and serve Him. But He needed to do His part and tell me His plans so I could follow. So obviously He should be giving me instructions, right?? LOL. And you know what He did? He listened. He listened to all of it. He let me speak my mind and when I was done, it was like I could hear Him chuckle, patting my head as if He were saying
“Little girl, you don’t get to know it all, but these are My instructions for you. Press into Me. Lean into My love. Grow in our relationship, because you’re gonna need the strength for when I do call you to what I have for you.”
Gulp.
Ever since that night I have never doubted that God has plans for me. Have I wondered about or questioned those plans? Yeah I still do sometimes. But I just go back to that night and believe He is good. He faithful to do what He says and it’s for our good and His glory.
Two years from that summer, I was called to the World Race. And boy am I gonna need strength from Him to do it!! But boy how our relationship has grown! How I’ve experienced Him and how I will in the coming year on this journey. I can’t wait. I hope this encourages someone to seek God. To be bold and approach Him because He already knows your heart, trust Him with it. To give Him your heart, leave the worry with Him and accept the hope He gives. To walk into tomorrow with excitement for what’s coming. And to know that it’s all because of Him and for Him.
Until the next one,
Chelsie
