If you are reading this that means I finally sat down to write this blog I have dreaded for weeks now. So welcome! It’s a little long but I figured with quarantine you’d stick around:))
I haven’t posted in a bit but the last few months have been CRAZY. March 1st I left Ethiopia, March 4th I got to see my mom at PVT, March 14th we got the news that we were leaving the race early because of Covid-19, March 15th we left, and March 17th I landed in good ole Savannah, GA.
Leaving Ethiopia was bittersweet and the two weeks we got in Thailand were some of the best days of my whole life. Being able to experience a week with my mom was such a blessing. I fell in love with Asai and I learned so much in my short time in Thailand.
On the 15th we were all woken up by our squad leader. We were all sitting in the meeting room that Sunday morning when she broke the news that we had to leave. That we were leaving the next morning early, that we needed to pack, and that it was our very last day of the world race.
Between utter shock and sadness I was completely numb. The room was silent (except for all the sniffles in between tears). It was a sad scene. These people that we’ve lived, laughed, and learned with for 7 MONTHS were being separated. No more breakfast talks, no more squad worship, no more scheduled ministry, no more adventure days. I was just thinking “this is not happening” that whole day.
We made the most of that last day in Thailand. We shopped, ate, walked around, ate some more, and spent the night riding tuk tuks in the rain (and packed somewhere in between).
We flew out the next morning to Taiwan then straight to Los Angeles, CA. We were supposed to have a 2 day debrief in LA but when we landed, we received an update that we were not allowed to be in groups of 10 or more. We were heartbroken because now we couldn’t even spend our last debrief as a squad. Because of that half of our squad (including myself) changed flights for the very next morning. So in the span of 10 hours I landed in LA, abruptly said goodbye to my team and my squad, and got on a 3am flight to Savannah.
So… many flights and time zones within all the corona craziness later, I was home.
I’ve been home now for 5 weeks and everything is still a blur. When I was on the race it felt like I was born on the race, it’s hard to explain, I just felt like I had never done life that wasn’t on the world race before. And the second I got home even through the weirdness of everything I felt like I never did the race.
I think it was really strange for me to be back where nothing had really changed. Mom still cooked dinner every night, my t-shirts were still in my second drawer, and the dogs still barked when someone rang the doorbell. Coming back of course I am the same person but I feel so different. I feel like so much time and life has happened so seeing things that have stayed the same for 7 months was weird for me and kind of made me feel like I hadn’t changed.
The first week & 1/2 I was slowly adjusting to having air conditioning, ice, hot showers, stuff like that. Coming home to the America that I came home to has just been weird, and definitely not the homecoming I had imagined. Seeing people for the first time on my bike in my neighborhood is weird. Being home for a month and still haven’t seen my best friends is weird. Not being able to go and do the things I was so anxious to do when I got back is weird. It’s all just WEIRD. There’s really no other way to say it.
I have days where I don’t look at my phone once, I don’t want to process that the race has ended and I just wish I was with my squad doing life together —— and I have days I scroll through Instagram, stay in my bed, and feel guilty for how much I have enjoyed being home.
I have slowly come to the conclusion that even though the race is over, my “mission” is still the same.
I have caught myself in a huge funk the past few weeks. Mainly with a huge lack of motivation to get up early, to read my bible, to process all of this. I have been frustrated with myself but also realized that I need to give myself a break. I was away for 7 months, I had a routine, I was never by myself, I got to be a part of crazy life change, I was rarely on my phone, it was the race life!! And the race life is so very extra different from life at home. Not better or worse, just completely different. A little part of me feels like a funk is inevitable considering I am relearning how to live in America with strange circumstances from the world and with new standards for myself.
Those 7 months were the absolute best, challenging, rewarding, humbling months of my whole life. The lessons I have learned, the family and friends I have around the world, the crazy god moments I got to experience, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I seriously cannot say thank you enough for those of you who have followed my journey- the ones who called, donated, read my blogs, commented on my photos, texted words of encouragement. It has been a blessing to have so many sweet people rooting me on throughout all of this and I am so so grateful.
If you ask me broad questions about the race I can’t promise a good answer because there is no way I can begin to explain this journey in a sentence or two, but I will work on it 🙂
What a ride it has been. I can’t wait to tell my kids about this whole thing one day. Doing the race was the best decision I have ever made.
God is good y’all, thanks for being a part of my journey!
with love,
Bailey
