Hii friends! Man do I have a lot to catch you up on. The past month has been a roller coaster of emotions. I am finishing up high school, fundraising, and trying to prepare myself for this gap year.
As fun as that has been, this semester has been hard for me. I feel like everything is happening so quickly. I think the main reason this semester has been so hard for me is because it has not looked like I pictured it, especially ever since I decided to do World Race.
There has been many things the devil is trying to use to get me to doubt this decision. He is trying to dig into the things I care about the most and convince me I am not ready, I am not good enough, and I am not qualified enough. But I don’t believe a word, because peace is a promise God keeps and boy do I have peace about this decision.
Lately I have felt more “alone” than usual. Not the alone like ‘I have no friends’ alone. But almost like I was expecting to end senior year with a few people that I’m not, and that’s weird for me. It’s almost like I’m so ready to start fresh with this next season that I have total peace about not being included in everything and not being “in” with the “cool” crowd, ya know? I mean, lets be real.. going to church on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, not being a party animal, and going on a 9 month mission trip instead of college ISN’T the cool thing to do. LOL. If I really cared about that I would’ve changed how I live a lonngg time ago. I have paved my own path my whole 4 years of high school, I can do it again.
As hard as that is sometimes, I have peace because I know the people on my World Race squad are going to be better than I could ever imagine and because I know that the people who are supposed to stay in my life while I am gone will be there when I get back.
The main thing I have been worried about lately is where I’ll end up for college. Auburn University has ALWAYS been where I wanted to go to college. Anyone who knows me know I’d do anything to go there. I love the town, I love the school, and I love the people. It truly is a family. When I applied for World Race I had not heard back from Auburn yet, but for some reason I wasn’t very hopeful of getting in (not to mention out of state tuition is crazZy expensive!)
After deciding I was doing the race I kind of took Auburn off my radar… until yesterday.
“Accepted for Admission Fall 2019”
WHAT?! My stomach dropped when I saw those words yesterday. My dream school wanted me to be a student there. Why couldn’t they have told me this 2 months ago?! I’m so confused. Am I supposed to go to Auburn or go on the World Race?!
I’ll tell you why. It wasn’t in God’s timing.
Two phone calls later, today at 12:20, I am in my car holding back tears because I had to tell the school I’ve wanted to go to for 4 years that I couldn’t accept my admission. THE hardest decision ever. But I had peace.
I had peace because I know that if I was supposed to go to Auburn this fall I would’ve found out 2 months ago. I had peace because that word “accepted” was Satan dangling what I’ve always wanted in front of me hoping I’d go to Auburn instead of telling the unreached people of this world who Jesus is, and that just isn’t going to happen.
I truly believe that this situation is God blessing the fact that I chose to do World Race, and I know He will bless the fact that I didn’t choose Auburn over it. He knows the desires of my heart and He knows how bad I want to go to Auburn. I know this is Him giving me hope to hold on to while I am on the race.
Peace is a promise He keeps. He keeps it through the good, the bad, the chaos, and the confusion. What a sweet reminder.
“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” 1 Pet. 5:8-9
Life is good, God is great, and WAR EAGLE!!!!
Blog ya later,
Bailey
