“Over the course of this year, not only must I completely clear the entire table of my life, but also, as illustrated by Christ Himself, I must intentionally overturn it, dismantling the misguided priorities and corrupt ideals I have assembled inside my own, personal temple.”
Hey everyone!
I am sure many of you have been waiting on an update and wondering how my Race has started. I intended to send out a post earlier, but God’s been revealing so much to me and I did not want to interrupt that process or pressure myself into writing something before I felt rested and ready. Life on the field is glaringly different than life back in Nashville, but I have been happily embracing my time in Indonesia. It has definitely been a transition, but every week I feel more adjusted and in tune with missionary lifestyle. Although I discuss some ministry details below, the majority of this post is about my personal spiritual journey. This piece is vulnerable and was written after ample conversation, reflection, and time with God.
Wealth, career, family, health, talent, popularity, passion, and intelligence… all idols we can too fully find our identity in and all distracting hurdles I am struggling to fully overcome to this day. The list of qualities and attributes are not intrinsically obstructive in of themselves, but they can ultimately consume our lives and purpose. Over the past three weeks, I have sensed God leading me to trust and depend on Him, and only Him, in every area of my life.
Life is like a coffee table in one’s family home. Over the course of the table’s life, various books, magazines, coasters, beverages, candles, and decorations will rest on its flat surface; however, rarely does a coffee table find itself devoid of any objects. It is the very nature of a coffee table to rotate the items it hosts. A science fiction book might remain on the piece of furniture for years, barely being moved, whereas a magazine might hardly remain a week. A drink will only be there a short while, whereas a condensation ring might last the table’s entire lifespan.
Since kindergarten, the surface of my life has held thousands of objects, idols, and priorities, usually dozens at a time. I can hardly remember a time when idols were not weighing me down. Over the course of this year, not only must I completely clear the entire table of my life, but also, as illustrated by Christ Himself, I must intentionally overturn it, dismantling the misguided priorities and corrupt ideals I have assembled inside my own, personal temple. Only then, with the conviction of a carpenter, might I work to rebuild the table with Jesus as the complete and whole foundation. True life is found through a seat at God’s table, not a table one attempts to construct alone.
The overarching theme I believe God has been teaching me this month is dependence. I feel God desiring that I depend on Him and my World Race team, not myself as I have been so inclined. At launch a few weeks ago, God was noticeably pursuing me, imploring that I understand He only wants the best for His children. This is a year of uncertainty and risk, yet I am learning to comfortably take refuge in His plan.
During our final night before our flights to Jakarta, I had a beautiful spiritual encounter during worship. I felt the weight of the Holy Spirit and experienced revelation from several of the World Race leaders. Our squad’s mentor, Amy, approached me during worship and told me I am a Man of God regardless of any “word or deed” (Colossians 3:17) that I falsely believe about myself preventing me from seeing that truth. She prayed over me and told me God is smiling down on me, wanting me to realize that I am righteous and so deeply loved. She told me to pray and meditate on any lies that might be inhibiting me from fully recognizing myself as a Godly man. I reflected and realized that pride, insecurities, status, false idols, and the guilt of sin are all distracting falsehoods encumbering my identity as a righteous, clean man of Christ.
Shortly after, one of our squad coaches, Keith, approached me and stated he was praying for a prophetic word. He was struggling to identify one for me and then “like a coin in a coin slot” the Holy Spirit gave him the word dependence. I spoke with Keith after worship and discussed some of the recent epiphanies I had been having. The more I thought about it, Keith’s word, dependence, is a perfect, single word description for what the Lord has been teaching me since applying for The World Race. For years, if not nearly my entire life, I have largely depended on myself… my potential, my career, my intelligence, social attributes, my skillsets, and numerous other worldly phenomena. I am of the belief that a central reason God opened up the door and pushed me out into this year of ministry is so that I might cast all temptations aside and rely solely on my Creator.
Keith also encouraged me to begin reading through the Book of Psalms as dependence on God is a reoccurring theme. In just the initial several pages of Psalms, the theme of dependence is mentioned frequently. Psalm 2, Psalm 3, Psalm 4, and Psalm 7 all reference spiritual trust and reliance.
Psalm 3 reads, “But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side” (Psalm 3:3-6).
It has been spoken over me multiple times that Scripture is where I should specifically focus attention to better understand God and His character. In relation, one of my clear, tangible goals for 2020 is to read through the entirety of the Bible chronologically. I have already begun a plan through The Bible Recap in which I am assigned daily Biblical readings. It is an informative, well-structured plan if anyone else is interested in trying it! The plan and accompanying podcast have already revealed so much about God’s character and plan. For instance, did you know that Jesus was prophesied all the way back in Genesis 3? I certainly did not and the revelation adds another special element to the Lord’s metanarrative that I was unaware of.
Halfway across the world, God has been patiently teaching me how to more openly depend on Him. The past several weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions for our team. At times, we have been busy, overwhelmed, and physically ill. At other times, we have shared joy, peace, and rest. Our team has been experiencing moments of intense spiritual awakening and periods of spiritual warfare. Regardless of the situation or dynamic, I know our team has my best intentions in mind. Through gradually learning to depend on my teammates, I have been learning to depend more on God as well. Our unity as a team has fed our ministry and allowed our time in Indonesia to be that much more meaningful.
Indonesia is a diverse, beautiful country full of friendly people, spicy food, coffee shops, and hearts searching for more. We have been serving in Bandung, West Java and are aiming to build lasting connections with nonbelievers and believers alike. According to the 2010 census, West Java is 97% Muslim and less than 2.5% Christian. Indonesia is a closed country in which missionary work is technically illegal. As a result, our public intentions have to be mixed with local volunteer work that is not faith-centered. Although we do have established ministry times through our host, much of our past three weeks have been centered on building organic relationships with a community of individuals at an English center through meals, activities, and other social opportunities.
We have been teaching English and participating in sports ministry with one organization, but have also separately been volunteering with an orphanage and men’s transition house. Certain ministries are gender-specific and only John and I have been volunteering at the transition house, but the women on our team have been evangelizing in the red light districts of Bandung through prayer walks and conversation. They are also visiting a women’s prison tomorrow to open up purposeful dialogue. In addition to the ministry opportunities presented by our host, I have also been interviewing and filming numerous local musicians hoping to open up spiritual conversations and give them a platform to share their art. I hope to find talented musicians in every country I visit and will expand more on this project at a later time.
As a whole, our goal has been to carry faith-based conversations and demonstrate the love of Jesus to the Sundanese people and everyone else we encounter in Bandung. For young people of different religions who are only somewhat familiar with Christianity, it can take years of planting seeds to see the sprouts of Christian Faith. Although it can be difficult to identify the tangible results of our efforts, I believe future conversations and later volunteers will be able to add water and light to the foundational seeds we have assisted in planting and maturing. During my short time here, I can honestly say that I have made lasting friendships that I hope to continue long after my time here.
Through bonding as a team, delving into the Word, serving the city of Bandung, and initiating faith-centered conversation, I have learned to further trust God and His process. He called me on this journey for a specific reason and I believe the first step to embracing His plan is clearing off the table surface of my worldly life. Only when I have removed false idols and self-motivated agendas can I embrace the full love and calling Jesus has for me.
On the drive back from Training Camp a few months ago, the Lord gave me an image of a seaside cliff with water below. I am hanging off of the cliff, both hands on the edge, afraid to fall into the uncertain waters of fully living for Christ. Early on in life, I chose to leap, but fear and selfishness have prevented me from fully removing my hands. I pray that on this trip I gradually begin removing each one of my fingers so that I might fully fall into the unknown of Jesus’s love and plan. I have been clinging to the safety of land for far too long and it is time for me to cease my lukewarm, half-dedicated faith and dive into the wonders of God’s Kingdom and purpose for my life.
Gratefully,
Austin
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” | Proverbs 3:5-6
