i’m done. i’m done being one foot in for the Lord. i’m done compromising and questioning if living all in for the Lord is really worth it. i’m done pursuing what i think is best. i’m saying goodbye and putting my whole heart in for Jesus. I’m choosing Jesus, the one who has always pursued me and always has His best in mind.
it was a long ride of choosing what seemed like the best for me, my flesh and i. i believed a lot of lies and did a lot of things that looked so shiny but before i knew it, those things rusted my heart and it started slowly breaking apart because it was trying to soak in the wrong water.
i compromised a lot. and sadly, i compromised a lot for the sake of the world. for the sake of pleasing people, and the wrong crowd at that. for the sake of being rejected. for the sake of losing things and people. i compromised getting filled up by the Lord for emptying myself out to a parched world.
compromise. you hurt me a lot. but i loved you a whole lot. for some odd reason, i thought what you would give me was joy, comfort, and a sense of belonging and maybe for just a moment, you did, but it was never pure. instead, all i received was discouragement and was lead astray to emptiness that made me turn back time and time again in hopes that something would change and i would finally get what i’m longing for. i missed out on so much abundance. even though it’s so hard to say goodbye for a final time, i have tasted and seen God’s best for me and for that, i’m not turning back.
now i have found complete joy (John 15:10-11) and have filled my heart with the only water that satisfies and is sustainable (John 4:14) and i have been met with life in abundance (Psalms 16:11). apart from Jesus, i have no good thing and that is my confidence.
i’m done. so here i am, saying my goodbye because there’s nothing like a life designed for and by Jesus.
sincerely,
anahi
“Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard from me, and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9)
Jesus, thank you for bringing me this far to restore my heart.
Amen.
