One month since I’ve slept in a bed. One month since I’ve flushed a toilet. One month since I’ve washed laundry in a washer and dryer. One month since I’ve driven a car. One month since I’ve taken a normal shower, used a light switch, cooked, sat on a couch, looked in a mirror, had an amazing bowl of ice cream with toppings of my choice, or since I’ve hugged my friends or family.
One ! Whole ! Month !
One month of vulnerability. One month of creating a family and community. One month of the Lord healing pain, brokenness, and insecurity in my life. & One month of surrender.
To be honest, I have no clue how I’m supposed to wrap up this whole month. I could give you a day in the life but each day is completely different. I really just don’t know what words to use to describe the things that the Lord is doing. The question “How’s it going?” is so frustration because my life goes in so many different directions and emotions every single day. I think that is one thing the Lord is teaching me right now. What an honor to get the experience of being speechless and captivated by Him. I’m finding gratitude in the fact that I’m so ‘passionately frustrated and eager’ that I can’t find the words to explain the work He’s doing in my life and in others.
Right now the Lord is teaching me to receive. To recieve His gifts, affirming words, and love. He’s teaching me how to walk in freedom and no shame with the upmost, joyous, child-like faith so that I may freely give to others.
“As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts — no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep.” [Matthew 10:7-10]
This hasn’t been too easy for me but I’ve been able to take a step forward into it. Learning how to surrender my silver, extra shirts, and sandals for this journey quite literally yes, but also learning how to surrender my insecurities, my shame and guilt. It’s not easy to receive the Lord’s truths when you’ve been holding on so tightly to lies, shame of your past and beat yourself down. There’s no room for the Lord to come into your heart when words of death is all that it’s filled with.
I’ve been asking myself how I view the Lord and have been asking Him how he sees me and I’ve been seeing the image of a little girl dancing on her father’s feet while holding his hand. Every step she takes is in tune with her father’s steps. She’s not really looking behind or around her, she’s just looking up at her father with a smile and pure joy knowing that her father is holding her hands and is leading her steps with his timing and pace. Learning to heal so I can receive isn’t the easiest. Sometimes I’m impatient and just want to get to the mountain top of being completely healed but the Father is showing me there is so much joy and beauty of going through the valley in His timing and steps to get to the healing. “For you know how, like a father with his children, we comforted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” [1 Thessalonians 2:11]
Yeah. Wow. That’s just a little bit of month one. Now to take a step and dance into month two.
ALSO!! Some exciting news! My squad gets to leave campus! For a week! To do ministry! Out of state! We will be heading to Lake Charles, Louisiana October 24-31 and we will be partnering with Samaritan’s Purse to help with disaster relief. We are so stoked!
Some things to be praying for as we step into month 2:
- My squad would have safe travels and be safe from covid to continue gap year
- Our hearts would be prepared for getting to finally do ministry
- We would avoid falling into a routine. It’s so easy here to do that. Pray that we would fight for solitude and to choose Jesus everyday.
I love you all. Woah, praise the Lord that y’all are partnering with me.
Anahi King
“Baby steps my child
To you it may be nothing, but you make daddy proud
Your weakness is only my strength
I know you’ve got your question
But I’m closer than you think I promise
Oh I won’t let go, I won’t let go
I see you right where you are
I’m holding on to your heart
…
You’ve been here all this time
Tell me where have I been looking ’cause You weren’t hard to find
Mercy opened my eyes
Now I’m loosing my religion to be loved like a child
You satisfy me”
Real Thing – Maverick City Music
