Do you ever have so many emotions or things going on in your head your not sure how to get it all out, much less where to start? Yup, welcome to my life! Life following Christ is up and down. Here are a few things Jesus has been teaching me lately (and I might just be a little vulnerable)
1. True friendships are selfless love for the other. Let me explain- I love listening and I love knowing on a deep level how my friends are doing. But when they tell others and not me, I can become selfish. And that quickly allowed me to hear and believe the devil’s lies that I’m not wanted or needed. But all that is IS a lie. There is no truth in it! And so once I realized that, I let it go and felt so free! The devil has no hold over me because I am held by the Father, the all-powerful in whose shadow the devil flees! Outwardly the situations didn’t change too much, but my heart did and it is one of the biggest things God is teaching me- to let go and to be glad and grateful they have other amazing friends they trust enough to talk to. I have learned to make my prayer “God, please take my selfishness and make it selflessness!” And He is holding onto me and not letting the devil come!
2. The gift of silence. The other day, God slapped me in the face with this message! (ok- not physically but you know!;) I usually spend time in prayer either praying, reading the bible, journaling or singing and worshiping. Anything to fill the silence and keep my mind from wandering so easily. But I was given an opportunity to spend 20 minutes in prayer with the Lord the other morning and I was completely unprepared. I didn’t have my bible, journal, spiritual book and so I could have just sat there rattling off prayers and intentions, which is not bad. But I realized how long it was since I have sat with Jesus, listening internationally to Him. And so this is the part where I say I had a huge revelation in those 20 minutes… right? Not quite! I sat there, struggling to be still and keep my mind on God. But just because I didn’t feel anything doesn’t mean I didn’t receive anything! Later, my Bible readings for the day had to do with waiting in silence to hear God’s messages and then at the end of church that night I was reminded how silence was very key for our spiritual journey and life. I was one thing after another in a day and I said- yup Lord, I think I get your message! So I am working on being comfortable and more intentional to taking time out of my day for silence that I have confidence God will soon fill.
3. Scripture is so beautiful and needed! I have always been a person who loves the idea of spending time with Scripture and the Bible, but never really took the time out of my day to do it. At the beginning of 2020, my dad recommended I make a pan to read the whole Bible, which seems so hard and a big undertaking. I also had no idea how I was supposed to “get” something out of scripture, other than just reading it as a book. But I decided to do it and try to read it everyday in small amounts, which makes it more do-able and I can try to dive into it more. And man, God met me there and used that small willingness to try and opened me to the scriptures so much more than I could have imagined! There is so much in the Old and New Testament that I have never heard or known about! It has been a real source of strength and not as much of a chore that I have to do, but something I look forward to! Also, one thing that I have realized is that Jesus is the Word of God made flesh. So that means that Jesus is in essence modeled after Scripture! The very thing that we have the ability to learn and dive into at our very fingertips! I encourage you to find time in your day to pick a book of the Bible, or the readings for the day, and spend a few minutes of the day with the literal Word of God! He has given us such an amazing resource to get to know him better, so lets meet him in it!
With each of these things I am learning, I know there will still be times when I fall, when I let the lies take hold, or am too lazy to just give God 5 minutes in scripture. I am human and I am learning, but these moments of consolation I will try to hold onto when the feeling of succeeding fails, or when I feel alone and don’t feel God’s presence. Because it is a daily choice!
Praying for you all and I am so blown away by your generous hearts in both prayer and the financial support you have shown me! God is working through every single person who reads this, whether I know you or not! You all are always in my prayers and you are loved by the most loving Father!
In Christ,
Abby
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*I wrote this in January, but got busy and never posted it (opps :)) so here it is now! I will try to do another post soon!! Love you all*
