127 days since this journey began.
122 days since I stepped foot in Africa for the first time.
2 days until I board a plane and fly to Asia.
As I look back on these passed 4 months, I see God in every situation, circumstance, and scenario.
Each month I have been able to see a new characteristic of God, and it goes a bit like this:
South Africa: Pursuer
Zimbabwe: Challenger
Zambia: Talker
Malawi: Writer
Pursuer:
Why I say this? South Africa is where more bricks where added to my faith foundation. If that makes sense. Before the race, I thought my faith was good. I went to church, I read my Bible, I listened to worship songs, I prayed. I would say things like, “If its God’s will” or “God is good, he provided blank”. It wasn’t a relationship between him and I. It was a “this is what I’ve grown up doing, so I should continue doing it” kind of thing. But when I got to South Africa, man… the Lord pursued me! I think he might have been tired of this nonsense and just really wanted that relationship with me… I don’t know. But boy, am I glad he did. I started questioning everything. I was surrounded by people who had that relationship with him. Who wore that relationship on their faces like a bright and shining light. Who wore it in their heart in how they treated those around them. The Lord PURSUED me by showing me what I lacked in this so-called relationship I thought I had with him. He PURSUED me by giving me a taste of what I was missing and then waited in silence till I pursued him. And that’s exactly what happened. Now…I am a Pursuer of him.
Challenger:
So after that high in South Africa I was pumped! I felt ready to take on whatever challenge. I even prayed for a challenge. And that’ s what I got. Although Zimbabwe was an unexpected month of pure joy and laughter… I. Was. Challenged. I was challenged with the question of whether my faith was genuine or not. Did I believe what I believed because of my parents or did I genuinely believe all I grew up learning. This hit me like a truck. I don’t think I had ever questioned my belief in God. My belief in who he is and what he has done for me. But here I was, a missionary in Zimbabwe, questioning the very thing I went on this journey for. Looking back I truly believe that God put that challenge on my heart so that not only I pursue him more but also really dig deep and search my heart. Now… I am a Challenger. I challenge myself in asking the hard questions and searching for the answer.
Talker:
It really only took me two full months to acknowledge that the Lord was non-stop talking to me. Zambia was not the easiest month. But this is the month I heard the Lord the most. He is a Talker! Picture this, me having my Jesus times in the morning, sitting on a plastic chair that was going to give out at any minute, sipping my instant coffee, praying the carpenter bee surrounding me doesn’t get closer. That is when the Lord talked the most! Interesting, huh? I was struggling physically, mentally, emotionally. I was drained in all these areas. Maybe that is why I turned to the Lord, for strength. In that time of struggle he met me there. On another note, I struggle with prayer. Always have. But this month, God the Talker, taught me the importance of prayer and how powerful it is to talk to him everyday about everything and anything. So even thought I am still working on it, now…I am a Talker.
Writer:
My love for the Word started last month but it carried into this month. I have been able to dive deeper into the Lord’s writings here in Malawi as we’ve had lots of free time. Waking up early, working out, taking a cold shower, and then sitting at the green dining room table to read the Word has been a beautiful routine of mine. Not rushing my time, carefully studying the individually handpicked words of God that were placed in this book. I have never seen myself as a writer. Greek schools didn’t really help with that. I actually don’t care too much about writing. But while on the race, and specifically in Malawi it has been pointed out to me just how much I write in my journal. Just how much I have to write after reading the words written in my Bible. I came on the race with a leather journal that looked like it would last at least half the race. Yet its now sitting in my backpack full. Full of my writings of what God is teaching me and what he has been doing. I guess, now… I am a Writer too. (I’m no Dr. Suess but still a writer who keeps what she writes to herself other than blogs ;)).
Africa is filled with memories. Good ones and difficult ones. But I wouldn’t change them one bit. If I did, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be a pursuer of God, a challenger of my beliefs, a talker, or a writer.
So I am thankful to God for these passed 4 months in Africa and I am ready for the next 4 in Asia. What else am I going to learn? What else am I going to become?
I. Have. No. Idea.
But I’ excited!
Please pray for safety as my squad and I travel to Vietnam in 2 days.
Thank you all for your constant support.
(some of the kiddos from this month)
ITR 🙂
