I learned so much at training camp—I could write a thousand different blogs on the thousands of different things that were embedded in my brain about different cultures, world religions, foods, and people (and I probably will)—but, the most important thing I grew to comprehend during training camp was Him. I truly began to understand that everything I did was an act of worship (verb; ascribing worth to the Father; joining the angels in their forever song), and even something as simple as writing this blog would be deemed by the Lord as praise. So, imagine this blog with its arms raised yadah style, eyes closed and shouting these praises to the King:
1. You are here, because You are in me!
Abba, this is a truth you revealed to me the first night of training camp. I remember it so clearly– we were in the middle of worship and I was anxious. It had been so long since I felt the closeness of your Spirit, the comfort that came with knowing you were near. That first night, though, you laid your presence against my chest and let me dance and praise and smile with you for the first time in months, and I felt joyous. I remember speaking this praise out loud for the rest of training camp, reminding myself that because our spirits were entangled, because I was no longer giving you simple visitation rights but HABITATION rights, you were there with me.
2. I am your child, Abba, precious and honored and loved.
Spirit, I love you. You made yourself known to me in the earliest days of my salvation, from the very first moment I realized I needed it. But, Abba, you felt further away. I knew I had a heavenly Father, but the idea that you cared for me like a real daughter felt foreign. During training camp, though, I finally came to the realization that our connection wasn’t heaven-and-earth away, but that it is skin-to-skin. You gave me Isaiah 43:4, explicitly telling me you loved me. One night during worship, you gave me a vision. I was standing on a beach, unmoving, and Jesus was there. He walked towards me, slowly, and cradled my face in His hands. You cradled my face in your hands. The love of a Father.
3. You are the SAME God yesterday, today, and tomorrow! You keep your promises!
Ooooooo, Lord, I love this about you. I’ve always struggled to answer when people ask about the “differences” in your behavior between the Old and New Testament, and I realized during training camp that it was because I didn’t really know you, and I didn’t understand that literally everything you did was for the purpose of reconciling your creation with yourself. So, when we read of the Old Covenant, of your promise to Abraham (Genesis 15), and you walked through the covenant twice??? I was overwhelmed by your goodness! I had always thought of the Old Testament pointing to Jesus in regards to the typical Christmas verses from the prophets, but THIS? This was everything! You literally promise Abraham that if he, or his descendants, failed in their obedience (which, he’s human, it’s bound to happen) YOU would die because the covenant would be broken. YOU! THAT MEANS JESUS! The prophesy of all prophesies.
4. You are POWER.
One of my favorite things I heard at training camp was, “Of everything we see happen in the Bible, we should expect nothing less of our God.” I have found myself making you tiny, putting you in the smallest God-box I can find and tucking you under my bed for safe keeping. You are the God of miracles, of splitting seas and healing the lame and making the blind see. And, the thing is, your goodness and power aren’t trapped in the pages of the Word… they’re HERE! And they’re living in me! When the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples in Acts, they then had the ability to, through your power, perform all of the miracles that Jesus did. So, because the Holy Spirit came upon me, I have the same ability to do those things in your name… woah. I got to witness you HEAL people through the prayer of others. I got to be HEALED by you. I GET to lay my hands on people and, with absolute confidence, believe you can heal them. Jesus, you are raw and unquenchable and indescribable power.
5. You abide in Your people.
One night during worship, as I was singing and shouting, you told me to look at you. To open my eyes and look at you. So, I opened my eyes. And I saw you. All around me. I saw you in the people who were kneeling at your feet. I saw you in lifted hands and lifted faces. I saw you in the people crying out to you in their sadness or fear, in those who were literally dancing foolishly before you. I saw you in them. I pray that others will see you in me.
6. You ask me for everything.
There is nothing that is off-limits. My life, my body, my eyes, my heart, my thoughts, my desires, my time. You want all of it; you want all of me. You—sea-splitting, flood-inducing, dead-raising, creator of the universe—want me, a sinful mess of a human being. Except, I’m not a mess anymore. Sure, I still sin… I will until my dying breath. But Jesus stands before me; You intercede for me at the throne of the Father. You look at me, warts and all, and call me perfect. You desire eternity with me, so much so that you bore MY guilt and shame and imperfections—you bore MY cross—and died for me. Nothing in this life is worth giving up a love like that, nothing in this life is worth you, Jesus. Show me what it is to be loved by You, and show me what it is to live in that love. And help me to sing and praise you as LOUD and FOOLISHLY as I can. Because you deserve it.
The Father is aching for you. He loves you. Come home.
Worship at training camp was amazing! Here are some songs the Lord used to speak life into my bones:
Raise a Hallelujah – Bethel Music
New Wine– Hillsong Worship
Good Grace– Hillsong UNITED
Sails– Pat Barrett
Defender– UPPERROOM
Open Space– Housefires
King of My Heart – Bethel Music (the bridge ugh!!)
