Coming and adjusting home has been more difficult than I would have thought. I almost forget how to conduct myself, for so long I was able to leave behind the chaos of life and focus on serving others. Instead of worrying about applying for jobs, paying off the school year and scheduling appointments all I had to focus on this summer was loving on others. Having all these extra things to worry about, I feel stuck, missing times in which I am able to lay myself down and truly focus on Christ. It also has been really hard to constantly be living in community being surrounded by fellow believers to being left home alone as all my family heads out to work. I kept telling myself just wait, just wait till the school year starts back up, just wait till you’re able to go serve again, and just wait till you are finally able to have a career you are passionate about. But the thing is, God did not call me into a season of waiting. Christ calls us to go from glory to glory. I was desperately wanting for the school year to start back up so I could feel like things were back to normal but that is exactly what I should not want. I was provided with an amazing opportunity I hope to come back changed. In scripture, when people encountered Christ they changed so much they became unrecognizable to the eyes of their friends and family. I hope and pray that I allowed Christ enough room to work within my heart that people can recognize I am not the same girl who left to go overseas in May. So as hard as it is somedays to find the motivation to get out of bed, I push myself by asking, “how can I serve those around me?” It does not have to be a grand gesture but you have to start somewhere. I found myself cooking meals so my parents did not have to, volunteering at my home church for a few hours, to simply spending time in community. I cannot thank my family enough for coming alongside me for being so understanding when I am gone for the day volunteering or come home late at night after spending time with my friends. As I am transitioning home, this is not what I expected but exactly what I needed. Christ truly calls us to go from glory to glory and though it looks very different from my life over the past two months does not make it any less valuable. So rather thinking this is a season of waiting I am learning this is a season of growth, continuing to how Christ can use me in my everyday life.
