Hey everyone,
The last couple of weeks have been chaotic, to say the least, though Christ has truly provided me peace amidst the storm. God has been truly present in my life I cannot even begin to tell you how much He has been at work. I am not going to lie, with my upcoming 50% funded deadline approaching, I was beginning to get stressed. I kept hearing about how some of my fellow racers were reaching their goal and I grew jealous. I was confused as to why I felt called to going on this trip if things were not falling into place. I prayed and I prayed to God to give me a sign everything will eventually work out. As I waited for my sign, I took the initiative to work harder. I was picking up as many shifts as possible in hopes of helping reduce the amount I had to fundraise. Though eventually, I became exhausted and drained trying to balance working, going to classes, clubs, fundraising and studying. As I mentioned in a previous letter, I met with one of my small group leaders who turned me to the Book of Ruth. In studying Ruth, I showed a different outlook. In chapter 1 it talks about how Ruth took the initiative to go out and glean the fields to provide for herself and Naiomi. The work she did was not ideal but she persevered none the less trusting that God had something better in store for her. With reading this I decided to push through and keep working. With the income, I was making and the financial support I was receiving I began to feel a sense of peace seeing my goal would be reached. Though things became more difficult at work and I began to really question if working was the best option for where I am at in life right now. I was overworking myself and stretching myself thin. I prayed that God would give me discernment on whether I should continue working or not. As all of this was happening, I continued to research all of the supplies I would need to buy for my upcoming mission trip such as a day pack, sleeping bag, etc. One thing that caught my eye was a GoPro camera. I have always been interested in photography and I always thought about buying a camera. Going on this mission trip I knew I would want to take a lot of pictures and videos to document all the memories I would make. I debated for a long time on whether or not this camera would be in my budget seeing as though I was worried about making my fundraising goal. But something was weighing on my heart reminding me that I could trust in the Lord to provide. So I messaged someone on facebook who was looking to sell his GoPro. While messaging, I mentioned that I wanted to wait and ask my fundraising team first whether they thought it was a good idea or thought I should wait on making the purchase. Finally, I was ready to buy the camera but I was not ready for what was about to come next. He messaged me back saying “Don’t worry about Venmo or paying. I’d like to just give it to you. I looked into the world race and really like what you’re planning to do! Hope you have a blast and get some awesome pictures and videos.” I cannot praise God enough for this miracle. If my newfound friend is reading my post I hope he knows how grateful I am for his generous heart. Little did he know that he gave me much more than a camera, but he also gave me the peace I needed. I thought about how much God has given me. He has placed so many people with generous hearts in my life that I cannot even begin to thank. I think about people who have donated, some I met just for a weekend on my way to a conference and others who I met at school but never had the opportunity to truly get to know and I am in awe of the generosity I have seen. I was so focused on the number I had to raise rather than the person I was going to be serving. I asked myself if Jesus cried, “it is finished” so why couldn’t I live my life out by this proclamation. Why should I worry about something God has already got figured out? A pastor once asked me, “why do we limit our God to earthly resources for our God is bound by no limitations?” and I could not have said it better myself. I was so focused on everyone else’s success, I grew frustrated rather than truly rejoicing in their accomplishments. I remembered it did not matter who got to serve on this mission trip but rather that our Lord would be glorified. If God is truly calling me to embark on this mission, then he will provide. Getting to know my fellow racers, I could not think of a more qualified group and cannot wait to be able to work alongside them. So I ask that during this time you keep me in your prayers that I will have a continued sense of peace as I work towards my fundraising goal.
With love,
Sarah Kullen
