Hey Y’all! Sorry it’s been a while since the last time I posted a blog, life after training camp has been CRAZY. I just want to take some time to update you on some things that have been happening these past couple weeks.
Life after training camp has been HARD. The fact that I’m really leaving for nine straight months has set in, saying goodbye to people I love and just trying to make sure I’m as prepared as possible has taken a toll on me emotionally. My mind is in a constant battle with itself between complete and utter excitement and overwhelming anxiety. Shout out to my AMAZING Momma who has been there day and night to talk to me and help me process everything that’s been going through my head. She’s been my biggest supporter though this whole preparation time, and I’m so thankful I have a mom who’s willing to calm my nerves at 3am when my head is full of doubt. She’s constantly reminding me to take my emotions to the One who understands them more than I do myself, she’s reminding me that Jesus doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called, and she’s reminding me that EVERY SINGLE PART of this preparation (since the day I was accepted) has fallen perfectly into place, because it’s been falling straight from God’s perfect plan. And how comforting is THAT.
Also, another big stressful situation that has entered my life is, a couple weeks ago I slipped on a rock while walking in a lake and twisted my knee pretty badly. I walked it off and everything seemed fine but a couple days later I was in excruciating pain, unable to walk or even move my leg. My knee was in so much pain, it was unbearable. I ended up going to both an urgent care and the ER over the course of a weekend to find some sort of relief, because I wasn’t even able to function. The doctors I was seeing were telling me I had torn my meniscus and most likely needed surgery to repair it, so I got x-rays, MRI’s and physicals done and the whole time I was doubting I would be able to go on the race, considering how much pain I was in so close to launch. But THE POWER OF PRAYER, let me say it again… the POWER of PRAYER is incredible. I’m walking, bending my knee and my pain level went from an 10 to a 1 over night. I’ve been cleared by an orthopedic doctor saying that my knee is a little weak but that shouldn’t stop me from going on the race! God is so good. (Thank you to everyone who knew about my knee injury and prayed over me, I appreciate it SO much!)
I’ve also been dealing with some emotions that I thought I’d been healed from. In 2014, my mom and I had to pack up all our belongings from my childhood house and leave. We decided the day before that the situation we were living in wasn’t safe, so we packed up all we could in the middle of the night and we left the next morning. With such a short notice, we only took the necessities so we ended up leaving a lot of our stuff behind. Because of that terrible experience, I hold a lot of value and identity in my belongings now. I have these “things”, and these “things” are mine and no one can take them away from me. I’m currently living in community with 6 others and when I leave for the race (IN FOUR SLEEPS!!!) someone else is moving into my room, and in order for them to move INTO my room, I have to move my stuff OUT. As I’ve been packing up my room to put things in storage, I’m being haunted by the feelings I had almost 5 years ago while packing up my childhood bedroom. I’ve been having this gut wrenching feeling that I’m packing up my things because I’m in danger and need to leave, I feel as though I need to go through my stuff and only keep certain things because I can’t keep it all, when in reality, ALL my belongings WILL be here when I come home from the race. I know that in my head, that it’s a different situation, a different circumstance, but in my chest, it feels the same.
But as I’m preparing to take on this adventure, I’m just constantly reminded of how much love and support I have, even from people I’ve never personally met. It’s crazy to think about how next week, today, I’ll be sitting in an airport preparing to fly to Thailand surrounded by 40+ people taking the same leap of faith as me. Thank you so much for loving on me, supporting me and praying for me. I’m SO blessed to have a community of people supporting me like you all!
Prayer requests:
I fly to Atlanta on Friday (did I mention that’s FOUR SLEEPS AWAY!!!). Please be praying for safety traveling and peace that surpasses ALL understanding while saying my goodbyes to my family. It’s going to be incredibly hard hugging my momma and sisters for the last time for a while, and I may or may not tend to be a TAD over-emotional at times… (all the time) *wink wink*
Thanks for reading, I love and appreciate all of you! Stay tuned for my next blog this coming week!
