Hey everyone. This blog is one that I didn’t expect to have to write for another two months, but things changed quickly, and here we are…
I’m sure most of you have already heard this news either from me or from the World Race: Due to the continued spread of the corona virus, Adventures in Missions has made the difficult decision to pull all World Race squads from the field and move us back to the States.
A week ago, my bag was completely unpacked and I was two weeks into my last leg of the Race, preparing for two more months in Cambodia; my final two months on the field. But last week we received email updates and announcements from our leadership team about this sudden transition, and now here I am typing this blog from Tennessee, where I’ll be staying with one of my teammates for a few weeks before coming back to St. Louis!!
This blog is going to cover two things:
- How I’m feeling about all of this. Obviously this happened FAST and I haven’t processed much yet, but I sure am feeling a lot of things right now haha.
- The dos and don’ts of talking to a Racer that just got off the field, plus a whole bunch of ideas for questions to ask me that go beyond the simple (and overwhelmingly broad) “how was it?” I’d love it if all my friends and family could read at least that part to learn how to best love and care for me in this transition! 🙂
I am in shock to say the least. It hasn’t completely hit me that this season of my life is ending sooner than expected, that I already said goodbye to my squad, my family that I have served alongside for the past 7 months. The people who saw me at my worst and held my hand through it. The people with whom I made my all-time favorite memories. The people that radically changed me for the better.
My heart is hurting, and I’m feeling allll the emotions. I’m sad, frustrated, even angry. I’m confused and scared. I still feel unprepared and not ready to reenter life with my family, community, AND western culture all at one time. If you’ve read my blog throughout my whole Race, you’d know that it has changed my life in big ways, and to say I’m nervous about stepping back in after all that has happened would be a biggg understatement.
When my team got the sudden news that we needed to pack our bags and leave, I was angry. I didn’t believe there was ANY way that the Lord could let this happen. Before leaving for Cambodia I asked the Lord what He had in store for me for the next three months there, and I had a long list of things in my journal that I felt He was speaking over our time there. I was upset because none of the things on the list seemed like they had been accomplished when it came time to pack our bags. But looking at that list again, during a layover on our way home, I realized He was so clearly speaking those things over this season in general, whether or not it was going to be spent in Cambodia like I thought it would. He told me it was time to be His mouthpiece of truth more than ever before. While in Ecuador my teammate Skylar had spoken those words to me, “be a mouthpiece of truth in your community,” and I asked “do you mean my community here or at home?” She answered “I don’t know, you decide.” And now we’re going home, and I can and WILL be His vessel there. The Lord also told me that it was time to use what the past 6 months in South Africa and Ecuador had taught me. I thought I knew exactly what that meant. I was excited to share my story and the things I’ve learned with the people of Cambodia, and it turns out it’s already time for me to share those things with people back home.
Reentry is something I feared already. I would literally break down crying thinking about leaving in two months, and out of nowhere two months became two days until I was back in the US. Since being here I’ve noticed many things that are already hard, in big ways and in small ways. With that being said, there are some things you should know/can do to help make this all go a little more smoothly for me!
I’m just gonna be straight up, if you ask me “how was it” I will break down sobbing. Other questions to avoid would be “what did you learn” or “what was your favorite part.” If you’re wondering why those questions should be avoided, think about it this way: If you can’t answer those questions about the last 7 months of YOUR life, I won’t be able to either. That’s REALLY broad and hard to answer, and chances are if you ask me “how was your trip?” All you’re gonna hear is “really really hard, but really really good.” I would love to actually be able to tell you about things I learned and experienced, so if you want to hear more beyond that small talk, let’s grab lunch or something!! (After we all do a little social distancing of course haha!!!)
Those questions are all pretty general things to avoid with ANY World Racer, but there’s also something a little more specific to just me that I thought I should put out there because I know it’s definitely going to come up a lot! If you’re not open to actually hear my answer, or if it would upset you, then maybe don’t ask me about why I made the decision to leave the Catholic Church. That’s not to say I don’t want to talk about it, because if you do want to, I would love to chat with you! But I would hate for it to turn into some sort of debate due to someone not being willing to hear my side or wanting to change my mind. I would maybe consider asking yourself: are you in a place where you actually want to talk about this, or would it just make you upset? And don’t feel bad if that answer is yes! I’ve been there and I understand, and I promise we have PLENTY of other things to catch up on! And let’s catch up BEFORE we talk about anything like that! I would much rather just fill each other in on the past 7 months anyway 🙂
And NOW for the fun part!!! Obviously times will come where I have to answer questions about my Race in small-talk conversations. I don’t think that can be avoided and that’s okay! However if you do actually want to hear about it and want to grab coffee or something, I’m gonna help you out! I don’t want the above paragraphs to scare you or make you feel like all you can say is “welcome back,” because I really do want to answer ALL your questions! I want to tell you all everything but that can be hard if I’m not asked specific questions… soooo much has happened this year and I probably won’t know where to start! But please know that I really, REALLY want to talk about it all. So I decided to make a fun little list of more specific questions you can ask me that will make for some pretty awesome conversation, and that won’t stress me out! Woohoo! These are just some examples of little things to talk about, you’re obviously not restricted to these questions haha, but just know that being asked something a little more specific like these questions will make it SO much easier for me to go into detail or tell you stories without being overwhelmed 🙂 And one last thing, PLEASE tell me ALL about your past 7 months too! Just because I was the one out of the country does NOT mean your stories are any less relevant. I want to hear how you’ve been just as much as you wan’t to hear about the Race! Okayyy now without further ado, here are some fun little things to ask me about 🙂
South Africa
(September, October, November)
JBay:
What was your ministry in Jeffrey’s Bay?
What was living in a house with 35 people like?
What did you eat there?
Squad hang out spots in Jbay?
What was the “amazing race” day?
The water hole day?
Tell me about what you did every morning at 5:30!
Tell me about when your team got their own house!
Describe bungee jumping!
Favorite memories out in the back field?
What is UCSA (HAHA if you know you KNOW)
What was the Awakening?
Lice outbreak?
How did you feel when you found out your team was moving to Johannesburg?
Joburg:
Wait, your squad split up after month 1?
You lived in a prison for 10 days? Huh?
What was it like living in the prison? What did you do for fun there?
What was your ministry that week? What did it teach you?
Describe African church!
Ask me about the revival tent, I dare you.
How do you play the African version of “my cows?”
What was your ministry with Impact Africa?
What did you learn from the base staff at Impact?
Describe the squatter camps!
You didn’t like your ministry?
What was the baby home?
What was doing your laundry like?
Who were Alfred and Thulani? (Really good, but REALLY long stories lol, just a heads up)
Tell me about the spontaneous pool party night? (happiest world race memory by far)
How did you respond to Africans wanting to marry you? (This is a funny one hehe)
Why did you bring your journal on outreach days?
How was thanksgiving? What did you do? What did you eat?
Guys vs. girls prank war?
What was a “JK” and what did you do there?
You got bit by a lion?
Best worship night?
Tell me about your team’s trip to Cape Town!!! (Ask about the mean penguins, the baboon incident, hiking a mountain in soaking wet jeans, or my favorite: our beach day!
Tell me about your alumni team leader!
You got a tattoo in Africa? (Ask me to tell you what it means if you want hehe)
Zulu worship in the airport?
Ask me what I learned about:
Vulnerability
Not rushing growth
Listening prayer
Not doing things In my own strength
surrender
Pouring out/everything done out of an overflow
Ecuador
(December, January, February)
How was it being back in one house with your whole squad again?
Big earthquake on your first night?
Who are Tomas (and his dad), Mariano, Carlos, and Jorge?
Where were your squad’s hangout spots?
What was your ministry in Ecuador?
Did you see the fruit of your ministry there?
What was it like being one of the only Spanish speakers on your squad?
You evangelized in Spanish??
What were Mabe and Fabi like? How was living with them at Casa Blanca?
Ask me about climbing the fence every day with Anna!
What was Dunamis? What did you do there?
Who is Kevin?
How did you celebrate Christmas? What were your “presents?”
How did you celebrate the New Year?
Ask me to tell you about Martha (my favorite person in all of Ecuador!!)
Ask me to tell you about of each of my seven kids from my ministry (I WILL cry but I really do want to tell you about them so bad!!)
What did the Lord tell you at Dunamis, and how did that play into going back to Quito?
What was midpoint debrief? Where did you go/what did you do?
Tacky prom night and the party bus?
Ask me to tell you the story of when I got baptized! The happiest and FUNNIEST story hahaha
What were your lunches like every day in Quito?
What is the grass patch?
What was so bad about your room being next to the bathroom? (WARNING, a gross one HAHAHA)
What was your walk to ministry every day like?
What is Carnaval and what did you do to celebrate it?
Ask me about the time I got kicked by a horse if you want a good laugh LOL
Ask me about my little secret place overlooking the city
How did you celebrate Valentines Day?
How was PVT? (Parent vision trip, where my mom and dad visited for a week!)
Ask me what I learned about:
Team conflict
Being faithful in the small
Looking/living like Jesus when I can’t talk about Him
Opinions of the world
Impacting strangers
Not letting ANYTHING go to waste
Grieving
Cambodia
(Short but sweet – two weeks in March)
How was the weather?
Where did you live?
Who is Kairos?
You were put in charge of kids ministry all by yourself?
What did you do to celebrate your birthday?
What did you do every day in Cambodia?
How was your sleeping situation?
What’s a tuk tuk?
What is ATL and why did you do it?
Ask me about our AMAZING first day of ATL!
Ask me about the time during ATL when my group ended up in the middle of NOWHERE haha!
Favorite hangout spots?
What was your shower like?
No toilet paper?
You led the last worship night of the Race?
How did you find out about your squad being sent home? How did everyone react?
Where did you go when you found out you had one night left in Cambodia?
Ask me what I learned about:
Spiritual warfare
The Word as my weapon
Vulnerability again!
Processing
Trusting Him for what comes next
His plan over my expectations
More random/funny questions!
Ask me to show/tell you how to greet people in each country!
Ask me to teach you common phrases in Zulu or Khmer! (or Spanish but that’s not as fun or interesting lol)
Worst sleeping situation?
Best living conditions?
Best and worst meals?
Leading worship?
STOMACH PARASITES??
What is a team “heart check?” What’s feedback?
So you’re a big morning person now?
Your routine quiet time spots?
Big enneagram girl now?
Tell me about your teammates!
Tell me about your leadership team!
What were travel days like?
How many journals did you fill?
Best stars? Sunrises? Sunsets?
Common phrases within my squad? (Some funny stuff if you ask me lol)
How many pairs of pants did you rip? (HAHA TRAGIC)
My most commonly worn clothing items?
Friends you made from other countries that you’ll never forget?
Longest/hardest ministry days?
What did your average day look like in each country?
Sooo, the World Race is over. There are still a lot of questions swimming around my head. I’m grieving all the goodbyes that came way too soon, grieving the loss of my last two months on the field, and really missing the new unconventional life I grew so used to. Please have grace with me as I get readjusted.
The Race was the hardest, and most fruitful 7 months of my life. It was also the BEST 7 months of my life so far. And thank God it won’t be that way for long, because He’s already got something better in store. The end of the Race is only the beginning of what He has for me.
I am constantly reminding myself that even though getting back into the swing of things at home is not going to be easy, the Father is not surprised by any of this. I’m finding so much comfort in knowing that, because it means He’s holding all of this in His hands. When I committed to these 9 months, He knew it would be 7. He knew everything I would be feeling, and He had a plan for these two extra months I’d be at home. And now even though it’s scary, I’m excited to see His plan for life at home to unfold.
As I continue to process everything that the Race meant to me, I might have a few more blogs in the works soon! Until then, I can’t wait to see you all and catch up! Byeee 🙂
