Dear Mom and Dad,
PVT starts in one week! I can’t wait to see you both and for you to see a glimpse of what life looks like on the Race!
Here’s the thing, this trip is going to be really different than anything you’re used to. Yes, you’ll be in a foreign country with a different language and a very different culture, but I have a feeling that the most “foreign” part of this week for you two will be the community I have been living in. I know you’ve never seen anything like this, let alone been apart of it.
Here’s one little example: every night, we are going to have worship. Other than when you came to say goodbye to me at launch, I know that’s something weird and new to you. And even weirder, I’ll probably be leading a lot of that worship on guitar. Lol, surprise? There’s going to be lots of stuff like this that you both aren’t used to. And hey, don’t worry, I wasn’t used to it either before I got here!
Oh and here’s something funny: yes, we live out of a backpack. So, be prepared for me to wear my green pants and black/white striped shirt at LEAST every other day, haha!
I can’t wait for you to try all of our favorite Ecuadorian snacks, meet my favorite people, see the mountains, hopefully meet my class at Camp Hope, and all the good stuff! Most importantly, I can’t wait to sit back and laugh as you two get adjusted to the altitude, HAHA!!
Ok but on a more serious note, you will most definitely see a different side of me here.
At home, I know I didn’t hang around the house much. I’m sorry that spending time with you guys wasn’t a priority of mine, but I think this week is going to be a big step towards changing that. My hope is that this week will help change that pattern we had at home up until I left.
When I say you’re going to see a different side of me, I mean you’re actually going to see the real me. Yay, but also yikes… You’re going to see who I really am, because to be honest I’ve never felt more like myself than I do here and now. Letting you into my life so suddenly in such a huge way is exciting, but also terrifying. I’m 18, soon to be 19 years old and I feel like my parents don’t have much of an idea of who their daughter is, other than the small talk when I walk into the house, or when I FaceTime you from somewhere else in the world. And PVT gives us no choice but to break out of that! Scary but so awesome, right?
I’ve thought about PVT a LOT since I signed up for the Race. Maybe more than I should have. Since I invited you in South Africa I’ve worried about it a little too much. Since I made some big decisions here in Ecuador that will most definitely change life back home, I’ve worried WAY more than I should about what this next week will look like. Here are my honest thoughts about how I’m feeling about PVT:
-I’m scared you’re not going to like this world race community, or think it’s not good for me. I love it here and this is a kind of community that I want to try to pursue forever, so I really hope you love it just as much as I do.
-I’m scared you’re going to start too many conversations about what comes next and how you might not be a huge fan of some of my choices, instead of being present here and just spending time catching up with your daughter after 6 months apart. I hope that our conversations are fruitful and never at all hurtful to any of us.
-I’m scared you’ll feel out of place with the other parents. Maybe that one’s irrational, but we all know that our family has a very different church background than anyone else here!
-I’m scared to have a lot of conversations with you. You knew I went to church and love the Lord, but I had never really talked to you about it. That’s a mistake I regret more than anything, but know that even though it might be awkward, that IS going to change.
-On a lighter note, I’m also excited for you to hopefully get to know the Lord a little better through living this crazy life with me for a week! I hope you take what you learned home, and share it with Taylor and Drake and with all your friends who ask you how the trip went. You are just as much His vessel as I am. It doesn’t matter how much you know, all you have to do is share the things you’ve seen Him done. And I have a feeling you’ll see Him in new ways this week.
-As scary as it seems right now, I’m excited to have those big conversations with you about the future, and about why I’ve made the choices I’ve made. I can’t wait for you to understand just a little bit more of my “why,” because explaining it over a crappy FaceTime connection doesn’t always cut it, haha.
To be honest, there’s not much of a purpose behind this letter, because you’ll just have to see most of it for yourself! The things I share with you over our occasional FaceTime calls or that I post in my blogs or Instagram cover just about 10% of what life has actually looked like.
I’m excited for you to live in it with me for a week. All 100% of it.
I can’t control the outcome of this week, although sometimes I wish I could. Maybe it will be the complete opposite of what I expect, who knows. But all I can do is continuously ask God to let His will for this week be done. Not what I want to happen, not my will, but His.
I’ve been praying a lot about PVT, that ALL of our hearts would be open and willing. Hopefully you both will do the same until I see you, so soon!
I love you both, see you next week! 🙂
-Reagan
