I’ve been wanting to write this blog since month one. It never seemed right. I mean how dare I write about this topic. I would believe lies that I didn’t know enough to write this. That how could I write for men as a whole. Who am I? But the Lord calls me worth it. He says that this blog is needed. So if He’s leading, I’m more than willing to step out in faith.
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I’m reminded of Genesis 2 when God makes man and tells him all that he has dominion over. There is a pause in the story as (I imagine) God watches adam looking at the dirt missing something. God makes a pause at the end of verse 17 and then goes on to say, “It’s not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). He then puts adam asleep in the dirt and takes a rib from him. He shapes another human out of the ground using the man’s rib. This divine promise of the Lord saying it’s not good enough for there to be just man, I’m bigger than just one kind of human. Then, the man awakens to the father bringing another to adam. Someone so beautiful, so unique that I imagine the man is like “this is mine? This is a gift? You’ve given me helper?!” Adam then sings the first love song to ever exist calling her, “bone of my bones flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man” (Gen. 2:23).
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Dear Women,
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I’m sorry. You deserve more than I could ever muster. After living with 19 women for 4 and a half months I see the beauty of who you are. I see your gentleness with us. I see how much you care for everyone around you. How much you delight in your own emotions and the emotions of others. I’m sorry that men can sometimes miss your emotional needs. I promise we mean well, we just don’t know how to communicate what we feel and how to receive your emotions.
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I’m sorry for missing you. I’m sorry for ignoring your needs. I’m sorry for not listening to your heart and respecting it. Sorry for the abuse. Sorry for the neglect. I apologize for the words. We’re just as insecure we just put up a wall so you don’t get in. I’m sorry for thinking of you like something to use. You’re a beautiful gift that the Lord has blessed us to steward. We’ve messed up so heavily and I’m sorry about that.
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You’re beautiful. You have so much of God’s heart that I only wish I could have. You embody His beauty. His kindness. His mercy. His forgiveness. His vulnerability. He said that just having men wasn’t good enough. We need you. Don’t apologize for your emotions. They’re valuable. We only wish we could match your emotional complexity. It’s incredible.
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I also forgive you. Forgive you for not understanding us. For trying to control us as men. Our differences are what make us beautiful and unique. I’m sorry for putting you in a box and I forgive you for putting us in a box. I forgive you for the words you say to us. We have feelings too, we just don’t know how to word them. I forgive you for the abuse. It’s two-sided neither of which is okay. I forgive you for the shame you’ve caused me. I know it came out of a hurt place.
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I wanted to write this blog because I’ve seen so much pain on both sides of this. Men and Women are created divinely unique and special. We’re not meant to hate each other but rather find the incredible traits of each other. We’re meant to co-exist in this place of profound vulnerability and relationship. Men have pieces of God that women can’t show. And women have pieces of God that men will never be able to fully show.
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Thank you for being yourself. Thank you for being vulnerable even when men don’t know what to do with it. Thank you for being emotional even when it’s uncomfortable. It means more to us than you’ll ever know.
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Sincerely, men
