Blog 4 of the 5 days of blogs: “Dating Long Distance on the Race”
I remember my biggest confirmation about the Race being something that the Lord has for me and finding peace in it was when I talked to Nate about it. I remember not even wanting to bring up the conversation and ignore the Race in general, but I asked him anyways. I remember wanting to know how he felt and what he thought about me leaving for nine months and what that would mean for us. Without hesitation, Nate told me that if it’s something God has for me, then we would be okay and it would end up okay for both of us. I don’t know if I would’ve had any peace about continuing with the application if Nate had said anything other than that, but he didn’t.
I’m going to get right to the point, long distance is freaking hard (you probably can figure that out even if you haven’t ever done long distance), but it’s doable. At training camp, I told God that if Nate and I weren’t going to make it through the nine months, then I wanted to know that week. Instead, God gave me complete peace about it and told me that we would be okay. I clung to that promise and held onto it, I still do every day.
In the process of me leaving, I decided I wanted to prepare myself for distance. I decided to try to figure out the best way to do nine months without each other. I would read blogs and listen to podcasts of other couples doing long distance to try to figure out how the heck we would do this thing, but it honestly never helped. All the podcasts would say, “you HAVE to call each other every night or you will have a really hard time.” I remember somewhat panicking thinking, “That’s not an option for me and Nate.” Other long distance tips were to visit each other. Welp. Throw that one out the window too then I guess. Nate and I will just have to try to figure this out on our own because no one else that’s done it before for as long were any help.
Flash forward to Guatemala. We talked almost every Saturday and Sunday. We even had a date day where we got dressed up and both went to the nearest Taco Bell and FaceTimed (that’s my personal favorite call that we’ve had). It was hard not talking to him every day, but we always had good conversations on the weekend. He kept me in the loop with what was going on back home, and I tried my best to explain what my life is like now. It’s different than what we’re used to, but I do enjoy it. On one of our phone calls, I cried to Nate about how far away I feel from everyone and everything. He just encouraged me and told me that he still feels close to me and that everyone is still going to be home when I get back. That’s really all I needed.
Long distance is a little different here in Ethiopia. Instead of talking every weekend, it’s more like once a month, if that. I was able to talk to Nate one weekend in December and then I called him for 5 minutes on my birthday to tell him Merry Christmas and that I miss him. It is hard to only get to call him every once in a while, and the time change is really hard to work with, but it makes me more thankful for the time I get to talk with him.
Ultimately, I’ve learned that the easiest and best way to do long distance on the race for nine months (and especially in Africa) is to take it to God. I’ve learned to give all my worries to Him fully, and one of my worries is Nate. I can choose to let him and how he’s doing take over my thoughts. I can have constant anxiety about if he’s doing okay or not, or I can give it to God and trust Him with it. The option I choose (and I have to make a conscious effort to do it daily) is to take it to God and pray for Nate. It’s actually been very hard this year and never knowing how Nate is or if he’s doing okay, but all I have is prayer and that’s the weapon I choose to use daily for us and our relationship. If I didn’t, I have no idea how we would be doing as a couple with the distance and the anxieties of the world, needing to constantly be in control of what’s happening to those we love. If you want a tip on dating without seeing each other for a while, I say take it up to God and ask for His tips. That’s what I did.
