Okayyy, so maybe I’m not the best at blogging consistently, but I am hoping to get better about it! I am so sorry that I have not been updating you guys on my life, but I think you all can relate about life being crazy busy. Still not an excuse, but I am trying my best 🙂 I am in full World Race mode now that everything graduation related is completely done, and I could not be more excited about it. High School is now a past event, a memory from here on out, but I still care for the people all the same. In just under 80 days I will be leaving, but my heart is still heavy for the people that I am leaving back home… that’s you guys, my greatest supporters. I am in a season of preparation: a season of preparing to arrive, and a season of preparing to leave.This is such an awkward season for me, my emotions are everywhere.
If I’m being completely honest, it is so hard to get ready to leave for nine months knowing that I am leaving such an amazing community behind me. A lot can happen in a year and I don’t want to forget about the people back home. I find myself in my room at night asking the Lord why He wants me to go on this trip. Yes, I want to go, of course I do, I just know how hard it will be to leave for a year.
As I bought all of my supplies for next year (which I officially have all that I need for next year from my registry, yay!), I would go home that day excited and ready for this next adventure. And then reality hits me and I am reminded of the home I will be leaving in three short months. I am starting to pack and prepare for training camp (that’s in less than a month now!!) and I am extremely anxious to meet my squad. We have been messaging all over social media for the past however many months and I will finally get to meet them in person in Georgia soon! I am so excited for this coming year, but I will miss the people that have been a part of my life for so long, this is just the reality of it. I’ve had many teary-eyed nights and numerous stomach aches because I’m nervous to leave my parents for so long, but this is part of the transition. This is part of God’s calling on my life.
I have to be real with you guys, the World Race is something that I know God is calling me to do, but I also want you to know and be reminded that often times God calls us out upon the waters. Leaving for this long is completely out of my comfort zone, it’s not something I ever thought I would do up until 6 months ago. I remember when I first got accepted I kept asking God, “Are you sure? Like you’re sure your sure? Like for real?” I remember kind of fighting with God about it, I did not think I would be able to do it. Now that I’ve started this journey, I know I’m going to be alright. Me and Jesus for a year, it’ll be all good. We will be great.
I also have been in a season of worrying about those that I am leaving behind. No, I’m not full of myself and I’m not thinking,“oh my gosh, they’re going to miss me so much, what will they ever do?” Yet again, the reality is that I am leaving people behind, people that I see every day. I have a life here and people that I love tremendously. I talk to these people daily, these people talk to me about what’s going on in their life, same goes for me. When I’m gone, we won’t get to talk about our days all the time. I’m abandoning all for this trip, and I’m learning to accept this and be okay with it, but I know nine months is long and it will be hard for those that aren’t coming with me. If you are one of these people and you’re reading this, I will miss you greatly. I will miss you all so much, but God has a greater calling on my life for right now and I won’t ignore that. I will still be able to talk, just not nearly often enough 🙂
On a different note: I just want you all to know, I’m having such a fun time fundraising! You all are the best. My first deadline passed and I made my first goal of $5,000!! Yay! This next deadline is in August and I need to have $10,000 by then. That’s another $5,000 in two and a half months. Prayers please!! I know I can do it, but I also know that this won’t be easy. Thank you all so much already, you bless me more than you know. As Jesus said in Mark 5:36 (which has kind of been my theme verse for this trip) “Don’t be afraid, just believe” and I know and believe God will provide. Thanks again for sticking with me!! I appreciate you all.
