Life has been full of busyness lately. And in that, it can be so easy to lose sight of the purpose for it all. I’m going to be real, this last month has I have felt overwhelmed with things on my to-do list that it was easy to constantly be on the go 24/7. I then realized that I was forgetting to make room to connect with the One who matters the most, and the reason why I am doing all of these things, the reason why I am saying yes to the World Race. I began to feel disconnected and caught up in just “doing life,” and forgot for a moment how important it is to lock eyes with Him. I know that I haven’t been alone in this season, and many others have been feeling this way. At least for me, when I get to this place, I begin to trust my own ability to do things and want to take control, instead of partnering with God and trusting Him to work things out for my good.
I went on a backpacking trip during a weekend with a friend, where we hiked 8.6 miles up an incline with large packs on our backs. I battled a small feeling of wanting to give up, but I was determined to make it to our campsite. The backpacking trip in total was about 27 miles, and I faced this feeling many times. There was something about persevering no matter how badly my legs and back hurt going up these mountains. When discouragement or uncomfortability hits us, we have to stay determined to keep going, because the cost of giving up is greater than the cost of persevering. Although it would have been much more comfortable to give up a few miles in when my legs started burning the first time, it would have been costly because I would have missed out on what was ahead of me. The cost of the pain in my body and the uncomfortability of the weight on my back was worth making it to the goal. However, I had a few moments of feeling very weak. There was a point where I had to drop my pack and collapse on the ground and rest for a while. In that moment I begged and pleaded for Jesus to help me get up this mountain, because I refused to stop there for longer than just a break. Looking back, I realized that I did not make it as far as I did out of my own strength. This changed something in my heart, where the truth became more real to me that we are never truly alone, that He is always with us, helping us, and guiding us. Of course, I knew that in my head, but I found comfort with the truth settling deeper into my spirit.
We finally made it to the meadows where we stayed for a few nights, and the Lord began speaking to me in such a beautiful way. When I was a teenager I began having dreams of grassy open fields much like this meadow. I would dream of butterflies dancing around me, and of waterfalls and crystal clear water. After I discovered Jesus and His love for me, He spoke to me through these dreams, and it became my secret place with Him. This backpacking trip felt like these deep places in my heart came to life. I felt like the Lord was taking me back to the beginning, when I was first discovering His love for me. My heart melted at the sight of this place. And behold there were butterflies, countless waterfalls streaming miles long down the mountains, and the most beautiful pools of water I’ve ever seen. And as I stood in awe of the creation and the beautiful artwork of the Father, I was reminded that He is bigger than any worry or concern. When we are choosing to rest in Him fully, we are trusting the One who holds it all. I sat in the meadows staring at these giant mountains surrounding me, and thought, if the faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain, then all I have to do is believe what He says and lean back into His promises. That is what resting in Him looks like. Trusting Him, believing what He says, and meditating on His goodness. I don’t have to try to squeeze out a mustard seed and turn it into a baseball with my bare hands. I get to persevere only with His help, and rest in what He’s promised me.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. – Psalms 23:1-3
I know what the Lord is doing inside of me is for a bigger purpose, and it isn’t just about what I am learning or saying yes to. I’m becoming more and more excited for the people of different tribes and tongues that the Lord is going to place in front of me to love, and for the people that I am going to partner with who are hungry to serve and love the nations as well. I want to thank those who have partnered with me in this journey so far through prayer, encouragement, and giving, all to serve His Kingdom!
