Evidently I have a hard time blogging. Each week we have an hour set aside to sit down as a team and write, I spend this whole hour staring at a blank page, maybe writing one word and then erasing it, over and over again. Initially when I was told part of this journey would be blogging I was ecstatic, I have always loved creative writing, journaling, and telling stories. When it came time to start posting blogs my ability to form words flew away, or so I told myself.
Everything I believe about myself, where I get my confidence, my willingness, my love, and my motivation are from my mindset. I strive everyday for a heavenly mindset, to put my worth in who God, my creator, says I am. When I forget who I am or just don’t feel like the characteristics God says about me are true, in order to remind myself who I am (a Daughter of the King and Lord most high) I put myself back into the heavenly mindset by sitting down and writing out all the lies that have been spoken over me, by others and myself, then I follow with what God says about me…
Earthly lies…
unworthy, useless, stupid, forgotten, unlovable, nothing, waste of space, not enough, coward, hopeless, lost cause, depressed, anxious, inconvenience, annoyance, pathetic, Joke, unimportant, worthless, irrelevant, shameful, helpless.
Truths from God…
LOVED …
“And may you be able to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is to great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19
DAUGHTER OF THE KING …
“And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18
HOPEFUL…
“For I put my hope in you Lord; you will answer me, my Lord, my God.” Psalms 38:15
VALUABLE…
“But Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and by this God showed how much he loves us.” Romans 5:8
PRECIOUS…
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
STRONG…
“I can do whatever I need to do in life through Christ Jesus who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
COURAGE…
“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
JOY…
“You will show me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalms 16:11
COMFERTED…
“When doubts filled my mind, you comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalms 94:19
PEACE…
“When I go to bed, I sleep in peace, because, Lord, you keep me safe.” psalms 4:8
“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33
“I have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding” Philippians 4:7
SUCSESSFUL…
“If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” Romans 8:31
“God supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19
LIVING…
“I am alive with Christ.” Ephesians 2:5
CHOSEN…
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit- fruit the will last-and so that whatever you ask in my name the father will give to you.” John 15:16
BEAUTIFUL…
“Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky” Philippians 2;15
I HAVE A FUTURE…
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11
CONFIDENCE…
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the waves, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you” Isaiah 43:1-2
“Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound,” (proverbs 15:4) your words have power. What you speak about others and yourself can impact people in tremendous ways. The world taught me how to think about myself, but God tears those lies apart every time they float back to the forefront of my mind. He teaches me discipline, and shows me my worth and how far I’ve come every time the earth hurts me again, and he picks me back up.
God calls to each of us but not all of us turn around and continue the conversation with him. Sometimes its because we are to busy, or we don’t think we are worthy, we doubt if he is good, we don’t want the rules or regulations, we don’t understand why it would matter if there was a higher power, or simply we just don’t care.
For the first 16 years of my life I had lies spoken over me, I still do today but now I know that the only voice that has power is the one who holds the truth. God would not have allowed me into a situation that I couldn’t get through. I have been called into this position (the World Race and everything it holds, like blogging), I may not be qualified yet, but he will sustain me and grow me, because when I am weak he is strong, I have to learn to lean on him.
Maybe I can’t blog on my own because I associate writing with reopening past wounds and lies, but with him and his truths, “all things are possible”(Matthew 19:26).
I have accepted the call; I am where he asked me to be in this moment, the World Race. He is growing me and teaching me to depend on his strength and wisdom alone, right now through blogging. Something that could seem so mundane, just sit down and write, but past wounds can creep up and affect us in such funny ways, lies spoken over me years ago still affect me. But I have faith that God will qualify me, teach me, and strengthen our relationship through my struggles again and again.
In the course of accepting blogging is a struggle I’m facing I WROTE A BLOG, YAY!
Challenge for you…
I empower all of you to find God in whatever struggle you are facing. If it’s something as small as writing a blog, or something bigger, like dealing with trauma, seek after him.
I can testify through personal experience that he is always there even if you don’t see him. God tends to show up in unexpected ways, and if you say (much like I used to), “There cannot be a God because I prayed for this and it did not happen. I prayed to take me out of this sorrow, this pain, this abuse and nothing happened. If there is a God and he didn’t take me out of that bad situation maybe he doesn’t care or he’s just not good, so I want nothing to do with him.” When you pray and it’s in Gods will he will grant it, maybe not it the way or time you expect or hope, so you have to stay vigilant and lean into his comfort in the meanwhile. It took me 16 years to reverse out of my negative mindset; it wasn’t the moment I prayed but it did happen, I just had to go through a refining process. Sometimes you can’t just be taken out of situations; you have to grow through them. You may need some personal reformation or to develop more dependency and humility with the Lord. If you can’t see God in your circumstances ask yourself;
What can I learn in this season of trouble and discomfort?
How can I grow as a person here and how can I grow in my relationship (or lack of one) with God?
“What I am doing you don’t realize now, but afterward you will understand.” John 13:7
Always seek to understand! If you have ANY questions, about my story or how to find God in hardships etc. send me an email (:
Thanks everyone, xoxo Megan
