This is a question I have been pondering for a while now. Over the past couple of months, God has been opening and closing doors showing me where I need to go this summer. However, my journey started a couple years ago, so I’ll start there.
It is the summer of 2016. I was 17 at the time and was traveling Haiti for my first international mission trip. I remember being a little scared and a little nervous about going. I had never been on a mission trip outside the United States. I was nervous about what the food would be like. How well I would sleep. How well I would be able to handle the heat. How sunburnt I would get. However, I was excited to see what God had planned for me. As we traveled, my excitement grew, as if God was trying to say, “Maren, I have a plan”. Finally we got onto our final plane, and all I felt was excitement.
There was one day when we were delivering food to families, and there was one family in particular that has left an impression on my heart. There were six boys and their father. Their mother passed away shortly after giving birth to twins. The father spent all their money on medical and funeral costs, so he worked all the time while the two older boys took care of their brothers. None of them were in school at the time. It broke my heart to see the older brothers unable to go to school and the father unable to be around to help raise them.
That night I felt God show up. Now, when the Holy Spirit speaks it is different for everyone. For me, I cry when the Spirit is moving in me. So after devotionals, I felt God calling me to be a missionary, but I wasn’t sure if it was God or my own want. I started bawling, and I knew it was God. I prayed and prayed for God to help show me what He wanted me to do. I asked him to open doors He wanted me to walk through and close ones He did not. Everyday I could not stop thinking about being a missionary.
When we got back to the states, and I was coming down off my spiritual high, I really began to doubt what God was calling me to do and thought it was just my own want. I was reminded again in John 14:1 it says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me”. I continued to pray that God would make it clear to me what he wanted of me. I didn’t want to be a missionary if God had a different plan for me.
But I felt God would not let me drop this missionary idea. I remember a day when I was working and saw a sign that said, “’Here I am Lord, Send Me’- Isaiah 6:8,” and I knew what God wanted me to be: a missionary. The verse talks about being sent, and I just couldn’t shake it.
The following summer I went back to Haiti and continued to feel called to be a missionary.
I prayed after the trip God would lead me where He wanted me for the next summer, and I found Adventures in Missions Passport program (it is now called World Race Semesters). After a couple months of prayer, I felt God calling me to India. I applied and was accepted to go in July of 2018. While July felt so far off at that point, I knew God had a plan for me.
Before India, I went back to Haiti, and God continued to show me how He was working in Haiti and how much I needed to hand over to Him and trust Him.
Finally, it was time for training camp. While at training camp, He used people to show me how He sees me as His daughter. The entire month He kept showing me how much He loved me and called me His daughter no matter what.
While we were in India, we had the opportunity to encourage people in their faith and to trust God even in the midst of political corruption and unrest. We got to pray over people and work in schools teaching English. We also developed lasting relationships with the people and continued to communicate with them and encourage them in their faith.
Coming back was hard. The culture shock and the time difference was a bit of an adjustment. I started praying God would show me what He wanted me to do this summer. I thought He was calling me back to India, and I made connections with a different missionary couple and started making plans to partner with them. January came around, and we started getting plans in place and paperwork filed. However, God started shutting doors. Things stop lining up, and I knew He wasn’t calling me back at this time.
I started praying again about where He wanted me, and I kept hearing Africa. I have never felt called here before, so I knew it wasn’t my own want but God’s calling. I looked at AIM’s website again and saw there were a couple of trips to Africa. I applied for the two month, but it was filled. Because of this, I knew God was calling me somewhere else. I looked at the one month trips, and Swaziland is all sports ministry…I am the least sporty person I know so, I know God wasn’t calling me there. After reading the description for Zambia, I felt my talents would be better suited for this trip.
The journey has been a roller coaster getting to this point after months of planning to go somewhere else. God has been teaching me to let go and let Him handle everything, so I know He is continuing to teach me that by shutting other doors and opening this one to Zambia! I am excited to see how He will use my team and I while we are there and what He will teach us in the meantime.
To the King!
