It is time for an update! I am writing to you today from the comfort of the room I grew up in. This room once housed my sister and I, our bunked beds with matching sheet sets, and an army of blonde barbies. Now it houses a world traveler, her stained/tattered race clothing, and an air of expectation of things to come.
Some of you know some of this story, and others may not know any of it. Here goes:
On March 14th, at 6:55 AM in Bangkok, my squad got news from our mentor that we were being pulled off the field because of COVID-19. Four days earlier, my team and I had been talking about Ecuador. We had been discussing how our parents were going to get to come and meet each other, how we were going to be able to get to see them for the first time in eight months, how we were due for team changes soon, and what we expected South America to be like.
We had been full of anticipation. We were ready for change. We were expectant of what God had in store for the next season. Then we got the curveball of all curveballs: “you are going home.”
“What? What is home? God, I was ready for change. I was ready for anything you had for me. But this was not the ‘anything’ I was ready for.”
Sound familiar? I almost laughed at myself. In the midst of my tears, God gave me perspective. Years ago, I had promised, “I will follow you anywhere. You can take me literally anywhere.” I have repeated that prayer countless times since then.
On that morning, when I was told I was going home, God asked “will you follow me here?” From my tears I wanted to shout at Him, “Of course! You are worth it. Yes, I will follow you even there. …but, God, this sucks. I’m sad. I was so excited to go to South America with you. You and I were going to do so many fun and cool things. Are you sad? because right now I am sad.”
Guys, He is so good. We sat that way for an hour and half, grieving. He grieved with me! Things that hurt us also hurt Him. Even if He had a plan in the midst of it, even if He was using it to grow my trust in Him, He still felt the loss that I felt and grieved with me.
The next morning, He woke me up speaking three words over me, “Peace. Be still.” I am usually a go-getter. I’m a fighter. I am the “drive until I run out of gas and come to a sputtering halt on the side of the road” type girl. But on this morning, when He said, “Peace. Be still.” I simply said, “okay.” I placed my emotionally battered heart in His hands, and let Him take care of me.
We spent most of the day that way. He held my broken heart, and I rested. Occasionally, I would look over at Him, and see that my heart was still in His hands. He would see me, and would say, “It is okay, Liesl. I’m fixing it. You can rest.”
This was the second time that He had healed my broken heart on the Race. He had done such a good job the first time, I was happy to let Him do it again. Every time I looked over at Him, all I could say was, “thank you.” I knew He had me.
Over the next few days and weeks, God kept telling me, “I have good things for you. I promised you good things. Do you trust me? Do you believe that I have good things for you yet?” His good things are not limited to the Race. His good things weren’t only going to happen on the mission field. Even COVID-19 cannot stop Him from fulfilling the promises that He has made.
So now I am home. I have been state side for almost three weeks. I quarantined alone for 2.5 weeks. I binged online sermons, reworked my resume, and slept a lot. Now I am back in my parent’s home. I am in quarantine like the rest of you, and I am antsy like many of you may be.
I am excited to see what God has next! I am excited to walk forward into whatever He asks of me. Each time I have followed Him, He hasn’t disappointed. There were so many times on the Race that plans changed, or things didn’t go as I had suspected or wanted, and yet the end result was even better than I had imagined.
As we wait for the fight against COVID-19 to end, let’s be asking Him what He has for us in the now. Are we to spend more time with Him? Are we to turn expectations over to him? Are we to rest in Him? Are we to take action? Are we to do prayer walks around our communities? Are we to call people in nursing homes? What is it that He has for you now?
Those are questions I am asking myself too.
Is this my last blog post? Nope. I have more stories from the field to share. I want to share with you about my time in Thailand. I want to share with you about a friend of mine that I met in Vietnam. I want to tell you about how I am learning to pray big and dangerous prayers.
In the meantime, know that I love you. I am praying for you as you quarantine. I am praying for all the healthcare workers and first responders. I am praying for my immunocompromised friends.
I am so grateful for each of you. This journey would not have happened without you, and the lessons I learned would not have occurred without all of your prayers. You may not know that your prayers have power, but they do. Your prayers shaped my Race. Continue to use them for this fight against corona virus. Your prayers can stop it in its tracks!
With love,
Liesl
