Welcome back to the next installment of Cheyenne’s World Race, headed by Abba! (and the World Race of course).
The other day, Zoe and I went out for brunch. We went to this nice, out of the way place called Coffee45. You can see a picture of our smoothies and Zoe being her ate self on my Instagram, @rootless_stories!
We talked for a while. I wanted to get to know her better but wasn’t sure what non-artificial questions could help me, before realizing that it’s quality time that helps people get to know each other.
Abba certainly granted us that quality time. We explored Love Lane Street, and uh, somehow got lost. I LITERALLY mean somehow. We kept going straight, then took one street to the left and we were lost.
It was about 11:30 by that time, and we had to be back in the hotel by 1:30. Zoe has an innate ability to know where the ocean is, and since I’m hopeless with directions, we followed her lead.
We did find two museums I was telling her about earlier- the Upside Down Museum and the 3D Glow-in-the-Dark Museum. We’ll have to come back later with our team.
I recognized some buildings as being near our hotel, but far away near from our hotel. Zoe asked a security guard where Little India was, the nearest street to our hotel, and he said to keep walking straight and then take the next right turn. We went the way he said, and lo and behold, we recognize the street! We had been walking non-stop for an hour now, and I suggested ice cream from 7-11 since it was the middle of the day and we were at the equator. Zoe agreed.
Pleased with our purchases, (I was- I got a lime popsicle with vanilla ice cream inside. Zoe didn’t like her peach tea though.) we headed back to the hotel. I promptly drank half my water bottle, and dropped off for a nap.
The point? Abba isn’t nearly as hard to find. In fact, He’s always right next to me waiting for me to fall into His waiting arms. As I’ve said before, the last month and a half I’ve been asking Abba how I can hear His voice and feel His physical presence. I haven’t yet, but I have had a breakthrough.
^^^^
I don’t consider myself a prideful person. Words of affirmation is one of my love languages (which I’ll explain later) but I don’t really know how to accept them. Pride is a “feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired” (New Oxford Dictionary). I honestly forget my achievements – for example, I can actually do math well now! I passed my Special Ed math class with a B!! It was the first time I had ever passed a math class with a B! Talk to my mom, the lovely Stephanie Weber, if you really want to hear about how monumental that is for me. But I forget. I’m more likely to feel prideful on my friends’ behalf, like Katie’s (our Team Leader – I love her so much!!) forward thinking; our ministry starts anywhere from 10 AM to 3 PM. With the wide expanse of time we have, Abba suggested to Katie that we spend time on “Passion Projects” – places, people, or passions that Abba has laid on our heart, and to get out of the hotel and pursue them! How fantastic of an idea is that? That same day, Lexi and Katie made a little care box for the boys, complete with snacks and cards for each of them!
See? I’d rather gush about my friends than myself. But I KNOW people admire some of my qualities, which feels very weird to type. In the words of some of my squadmates and teammates, “I carry joy very well. I see beauty in everything. I’m very observant, I’m a good listener, unique, and I’m forgiving.”
^^^^
So. Connecting pride and my breakthrough is this. Ministry at PenHOP is devotionals: anywhere between 10AM-12PM, 3-6PM, or even 8PM-12AM on Friday nights! It’s absolutely exhilarating because here, people are much more free in their worship. Some are waving their hands, others are kneeling on the floor, and others close their eyes and raise their hands to the heavens.
I am one of the people kneeling.
I didn’t want to at first. I sat at one of the tables, reading the Bible while singers sang with all their heart at the front. I felt uneasy, a tugging on my heart. I needed to do something different. But I really didn’t want to. Yet, that’s the WHOLE point! Abba knows better than I, and as the sinful human, I don’t wanna do it! Plus, what if people looked at me? It was weird right?
Fear’s talking right there. Fear = Satan. Every thought someone has comes from one of three sources: Abba, the enemy, or oneself. Fear is straight up one of the best weapons Satan uses against humanity. So WHAT if people saw me?! Other people were doing it too! And right now, in this sacred space, who would devote the brain cells to think, “Gee she looks real weird kneeling like that.” Nobody!
I got on my knees, and I kneeled to Abba. Kneeling is defined as “to be in or assume a position in which the body is supported by the knees, as when praying or showing submission” I hadn’t wanted to show submission to Abba. My pride was getting in the way. Some pride that I subconsciously knew existed, but didn’t consciously acknowledge until that moment. It was then that I broke.
I told Abba EXACTLY how I was seeking Him out so much, and I really wanted to be able to discern His voice from my thoughts. I was crying so much, my glasses fogged up like it was 85 degrees. A dam had broken inside me, and it was liberating.
I have also asked Abba, whenever I ask Him to reveal something to me, to make it ‘as subtle as a brick thrown at my face’. I’m not good with understanding the subtlety in conversations a lot, so I prefer straight up honesty or direction. Abba is providing it in spades. I received a little compliment card from someone on the other team that assured me to not fight Abba but instead let Him mold me and added a verse. “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs? ?11:2? ?NIV??). How timely is that?! 😀
In conclusion, Abba is always so much closer to us than we think He is and always ready to receive us. Pride and fear are two of the enemy’s best weapons, so don’t fall into his traps. Lastly, He knows every single one of us by the hairs on our heads. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matthew? ?10:29-30? ?NIV??). Abba tells us what we need to know in the best way we receive things. Right now, He’s been providing people with messages from Him. This way I can’t miss what He says!
See y’all in India next week!
Canvas and Clay – He is the Artist and Potter,
Cheyenne
