Well I’m doing just fine! I lied, I’m dying inside.
Well, I’m not that dramatic. I’m not dying but it just hit me today that this is actually happening! Tomorrow I’m getting up at 6:30 or 7ish, and leaving the house with my mom at 10. We’re flying at 1:45, and arriving at 2:35. I begin the Race then!!
People have asked about my trip so much that I’ve got my answers memorized. By far, the first question is, “How are you feeling? Are you nervous, excited?” And my answer is, impatient! I want to leave and get all this waiting over with!
But today’s focus of this post is the word of the day! ”Hyperbolic”, meaning exaggerated. And you know what’s exaggerated for all of us Racers right now? Fear and anxiety!!
I’m scared. I’m anxious. I’m scared of what I’ll see on this trip. I’m scared of the cultural faux pases I know I’ll make. I’m scared for the places consumed by the darkness and of experiencing spiritual warfare. Most of all, I’m scared it won’t be, that we won’t be enough to beat Satan. I’m scared for my sensory-seeking needs, of being misunderstood, of being the odd one out in my team.
And anxiety? Anxiety worsens the fear and paralyzes me. It forces me to think through all the possible ways something could go wrong on this trip until I fall down my own personal rabbit hole of terror.
But. That’s okay.
Acknowledging that I’m scared, that I’m anxious, is the first step to conquering those fears and anxieties. That’s why I want to leave now – to lay my fears to rest. With God in my side, leading my every step whether I see Him or not, then what do I have to fear? Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Things will go wrong on the Race. Things will go wrong in life! But my mind, sin always clinging to the edges, exaggerated how much there will be. It whispers that I’ll get hurt, it screeches that I won’t know what to do and embarrass myself.
All of that is true. I will embarrass myself. I will get hurt. But Psalms 118:6 says it best.
And, I’m leaving tomorrow! My fears and anxieties will be put to rest once I get on the road!
Trusting in the Lord,
Sunny
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? ~Psalms 118:6, NIV
