New team, new continent, same mission. Become utterly captivated by the love of the Father. To walk, talk and love like Jesus. To look brokenness in the eye and offer back hope. Lately my heart has been shook for our corrupted, broken world, more than ever before.
I am going to bring you into the darkness, so that you can be informed, so that you can pray for hope admits deeply rooted darkness and that you can love and see ALL people the way Jesus sees them, pure and precious in his sight.
Ethiopia, the land where wifi is scarce and the coffee is rich in splendor. I honestly wasn’t entirely sure what to expect of Ethiopia.
Here is some history of Ethiopia…
Ethiopia has maintain its autonomy throughout history. The Italians were ejected by the British in 1941 and Ethiopia had regained its full independence by 1944, nonetheless Ethiopia had existed independently way before all of this. Ethiopian guerrilla groups kept Italy without full control of the country. Ethiopia is one of ten countries yet to be colonized; the people of Ethiopia carry a strong resilience and pride within their independence; in accordance the culture of Ethiopia does not uphold this glorified perception of white people. I quickly realized this while becoming acclimated with the locals around me. At first, I was honestly scared and confused interacting with the people within walking distance of our home, they frequently laughed and mocked me. Whether I was out grocery shopping, running, or grabbing tea with my team, it felt uncomfortable and different than any other place I had traveled in the world. Why?
For the first time in my life I faced the burden of tainted view of people groups. I felt misunderstood, I felt ashamed for being a white female in this society. As I processed this all with my team leader Jewel; an African American from Washington, D.C, she gave me raw insight into her world; this is her life, every moment of every day. For the first time, I was shown a brief glimpse of a life being discriminated against as a “minority”, the reality of pain and hardship is undeniable.
World-wide racism. The vast majority of Americans know that racism is wrong. It is one of the few things that almost everyone agrees upon. And yet I wonder if we (I) have pondered beyond that it is wrong, but have we considered why it is wrong, or how to actively act and fight against it?
After feeling the weight of my recent interactions in Ethiopia, I decided to interview my beautiful teammate and friend Jewel Macauley. A woman of God that has endured hardship and discrimination as an African American woman. The reality of her story is a testimony that Christ came to this world and died for all so that walls between people might be torn down and not built up with hatred and criticism. Jewel is a light in a world full of darkness. I adore her kindred spirit; and her honest responses. Here is her authentic experience being an African American in our world today.
What is your experience with roots of racism within your personal life?
I grew up on the east coast. It was very noticeable growing up in a historical prejudice area. The town over from where I lived is Thurmont. This town has an active KKK group. The town I lived in, Fredrick, didn’t integrate schools until the late 70’s. My mother taught me to ignore harsh comments that I heard about my family whether directly or indirectly. With age and clearer understanding, I began to to pick up on the derogative comments. Certain situations were frustrating for me to face but my mom really taught me how to handle it well with kindness and grace.
Growing up in a predominately white society, how were you able to maintain/ cope being an African American woman in a white society?
I had to learn to brush things off, to keep pushing through trials, my mom always taught my brother and I to choose our battles, that was the hardest part for me personally, to choose battles when it was appropriate to fight what was coming against me and when to let it go. Within that choosing gets tiring. When you see the constant segregation, at times it’s just easier to avoid it. Honestly, a lot of it comes from ignorance.
In social settings such as dating it is frustrating because white guys would say things like; “I know how to whip,” “Can I touch your hair”, “I wouldn’t take home a black girl.” These deep rooted issues are hard to want to pursue a relationship outside of minorities. Someone would need to seek to understand my roots and how the struggle of prejudice behavior. This is something that will affect my everyday life for the rest of my life and I need a partner that is willing to walk that with me. Within the workplace feminism is big right now, but when people talk about feminism they neglect that specifically black women along with other races have been discriminated against for years. I have had issues in the workplace of people not talking me seriously and questioning my intelligence because of my color. When I was working at a physical therapy company, I was suppose to be promoted to first manager and lead technician for a physical therapist company. The position was located in the town Thormont (a heavily racist area). In the end, they gave the position to an older white lady as they told me they didn’t want me to work in that town for safety concerns of being an African American woman . Being a young black woman I constantly am getting comments at work and I feel like I have to always prove myself that I am smart and intelligent and worthy of the position.
What were your experiences in high school/college like when you were immersed more with different ethnic groups? What was the biggest differences between your black circles and white circles of friends?
When my family moved to Fredrick we moved to the white part of town, in elementary school I had two black students in the entire class, then in middle school everything was more mixed; it was definitely hard, because it was the first time I was immersed in a bigger black community and students called me an Oreo. Everyone called me that, and it got weird because the black people would say I was stuck up and boujee. I was never fully apart of my group of friends, they made comments about my hair and clothes that I didn’t fully notice until I got to high school. In college, I went to Towson Univerity in Baltimore. Baltimore has deeply rooted issues of gentrification. In black communities the education is significantly different than white communities. At my college, it was very segregated. In dining halls white people were in a certain section that you wouldn’t dare to go and sit amongst as a African American. In local bars, black and white people didn’t mix, and if they did there would be rude and harsh comments thrown at me. The biggest difference between my black and white friends is I felt like I had to act like someone I am not in order to fit into this fixated box. College was so segregated in general I just thought why bother?
We know diversity is a good thing and how have you seen the Lord use diversity to glorify himself?
I haven’t necessarily seen diversity glorify God in my life yet, but I am reminded of what Jesus endured here on earth and it motivates me to be resilient. I have found a lot of encouragement and conviction in it, such as choosing my battles and how I respond, when things go down I have to choose to respond so I am not fulfilling a stereotype, I intentionally strive to live set apart as a African American Christian woman. When I do get upset sometimes, I know I am being called to have grace in all things.
On an international level, How has the lack of diversity effected you?
Since traveling.. it’s been very hard in a way that I hadn’t experienced back home in the states. When I went to Uganda on my first mission, I went through a lot of bitterness and pride. The ladies I went and served with were two older white ladies that were so excited and welcomed in the community and I was very much ignored. The Lord convicted me saying.. do you need that? I thought, dang white people are glorified everywhere! I was bitter because I couldn’t escape this even in Africa. There is this perception world wide that white people have supremacy. The Lord reminded me that the enemy tries to cause division amongst people groups and races. It’s hard to push through racism over seas and these automatic responses from perceived notions that people have about black people. It is challenging among my squad because they don’t fully understand what it is like to feel the weight of racism everywhere you go and I haven’t been around people that don’t experience that on a daily basis in a while. Heading to Ethiopia, I had prayed that God would redeem my previous African experience. Even in Uganda I got a lot of heat for being American. Africans don’t typically think very fondly of African Americans, due to what is shown in the media. They think African Americans took advantage of freedom, and they give Africans a poor name for their people group. Over dinner one night, The pastor I worked with in Uganda asked me, “ Why don’t you talk gangster?” I felt pretty offended by the comment but responded that my mom taught me how to speak around people that aren’t my race so that I am taken seriously. It’s hard to push through racism over seas and these automatic responses from perceived notions that people have about black people.
How has life been traveling on the World Race?
Our first country in China it was terrible; it was similar to racism in America but it was hard to be with people that didn’t see it. (my team) In group conversations with locals they wouldn’t look me in the eye and I was spit at three times.The first was this man on the street, another was on the train to Tibet, these five year old kids came and bucked at me, there dad was encouraging them and then they both ended up spitting directly on me from direction from their father. It reminded me that racism is instilled through generations. I wanted to be accepted and pursued the way my white teammates were on the daily.
Has it at all changed since being in Ethiopia?
I love Ethiopia! It’s been so nice to “just be”. The people think I am from here and they don’t give me a second look. I haven’t experienced that my entire life and it’s so refreshing. Finally feeling freedom and acceptance, I felt when we arrived in Ethiopia and the squad started to experience theft, aggression, negative attention. My squads response to me wasn’t a response that Jesus would have; being scared now of the culture and the people and making generalizations. I told my squad my thoughts and they appreciated my perspective on it, yet it still hurt. I think it is important to keep asking the questions, “why don’t I feel safe?” “Why is this place different than the other places we have traveled?” Yes these things are very real situations but they happen everywhere, and other countries we have been, but the response was different.
People’s response and fear is heightened here, but let’s look back to the other countries we have traveled and see if the way they responded to people would be the same if it is a white person. It’s how you view foreigners and other races in general that can either build up walls of racism or break down stereotypes and barriers between people groups.
What does society say about your beauty? How have you struggled with this perception? Can you share your personal experiences?
Ever sense my childhood, America has told me I was not beautiful. Even down from finding the right shade of makeup. In dance, I couldn’t find the right color tights to match my shade, I would have to dye ballet shoes. To hear social comments from guys was always degrading.I used to be scared of the sun cause I didn’t want to get darker. My hair was always ridiculed, if it was straight, it was stiff, if I had dreads I was asked if I was a pot head, with braids or a weave it wasn’t natural, relaxers weren’t appeasing enough… it goes on and on. I felt like I had to do all these things to fit in and feel pretty. I remember in college I was growing out my hair and it was growing to big and it drew attention, I would wear it back in pony tails and it took awhile to grow comfortable and accept the words of affirmation that my hair was cute. Recently, African women are starting to own their natural hair.. Amen to that!
Any final thoughts?
People need to be more like Jesus. Especially those who claim to follow Jesus. Real talk.. the enemy has places everywhere, you know how much our parents, environments, communities, have influenced us today, how much is this protrayed as Jesus? What is the underlying message of the media and our American culture? Ask the Lord to have eyes to see if we are putting out what he is asking of us all the time, without preconceived notions or hints of racism.
Jewel, you are a precious gift from above!! Thank you for sharing your heart and passion for change within our broken world, I love you!!!
We are all made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27)
African Americans are God’s people! They need to be cherished and valued not only in American society but a-crossed every nation! They are capable of worship, they are made with a divine purpose, they possess immense amount of worth and are deserving of dignity as much as any other gender, color or ethnicity. We are more alike than we are different, so lets start to show it through our words and actions. Let’s be people who seek to understand without judgement, lets learn to love like Jesus loved, lets bring hope to the darkness of racism in our world.
