The raindrops were coming down on the window. It was morning. A day that began as a lazy and easy one quickly turned into a morning of chaos. That rainy morning I wanted to spend all day with the Lord and get some work done. But of course, I was called into go fly a trip and so the chaos began…
Up until that day, I’ve been wrestling with the idea of quitting flying to pursue this season before the race wholeheartedly. The morning I had every intention of praying about this and seeing what my next step is. To quit flying or not to quit flying?
While I was laying in bed and taking my time to get up and get going, I saw this email that popped up that said “Travel.” Annoyed and knowing what this meant, I read it… “Hey Krystina, please be advised that today we need you to travel to Denver to do a rescue flight.” I really really didn’t want to go…. I actually cried because I really wanted that day to be one with the Lord. I was hungry and needed a day with the Lord so badly. Then after receiving my travel information, I get a call from the Base manager, “Krystina, we might need you this morning… we can’t get a hold of a flight Attendant.” At this point, it was quickly escalating into a crazy morning. So much on my heart already and so many demands at an early hour. It definitely wasn’t a good mix of feelings. I cried. Again. Then I prayed. The Lord quickly calmed my heart down and filled me with His joy. I began to laugh at how a morning that started out so easy turned into utter chaos.
The Black Chevrolet Suburban picked me up at 2 pm to take me to the airport. I was advised that I was no longer needed to fly for the missing flight attendant and that I was to carry on and head to the airport to go to Denver. While sitting at the gate in Salt Lake City waiting to board the flight to Denver, I get an FB message from a lady I met at church a few months back (Crazy God story). When we met a few months ago, she prophesied over my life and the whole conversation was soooo in the Lord. I remember her telling me that she is the cofounder of a missionary project in Kenya. Her FB message read, “Krystina! Flourish Kenya needs a Photographer for our trip at the end of July and I’m wondering if you’re interested?” I’d just purchased my camera a week ago (see the previous blog post for further details) and I’d just been praying about what in the heck am I supposed to do with this season. She goes on to say, “The trip would be completely paid for and all you would have to do is show up and shoot for us!” Around the exact time as she messaging me, a former guy I dated before I came to know the Lord messages me as well… “Hey you. How are you? We need to talk.” I was soooo thrown off by this that all I could do was cry. I asked the Lord, “What the heck are you doing to me right now?” Either it was the Lord trying to show me something or it was the enemy trying to distract me from what I’m supposed to be doing. (Either way it was the Lord because the enemy needs permission from the Lord to distract us in any way). It definitely worked because the following days after he messaged me, my mind was taken over by the thoughts and memories of when we dated.
Remember, my heart was already very sensitive. The thoughts poisoned my mind and took away the time I needed to be in prayer about Kenya. When I went home for a night, my sister felt in heart to tell me that this instance was being used to show me that I have disbelief in my heart. The biggest and most difficult lesson I’ve been learning is trying to let go of control and allow the Lord to have His way. When I was home that night, I prayed. I asked the Lord, “Lord, if Kenya is from you, show me.” He brought me to Joshua 1.
“And they answered Joshua, “All that you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. 17 Just as we obeyed Moses in all things, so we will obey you. Only may the Lord your God vbe with you, as he was with Moses! 18 Whoever rebels against your commandment and disobeys your words, whatever you command him, shall be put to death. wOnly be strong and courageous.” Joshua 1:16-18.
That night, I told the Lord, “Okay if Kenya is from you and you want me to go, you will bring me to Joshua 1 two more times.”
The following night after He brought me to Joshua 1 for the first time, I was hanging with the Lord. I began to pray again about Kenya and this season. I felt in my heart that I was supposed to go to June 19th’s daily devotional in Jesus Calling. There it was for the second time at the bottom of the page- Joshua 1.
“Okay, Lord, I still don’t know though. I’m still not sure. I still am doubting that this is from you and that you will work all things out. Show me Joshua 1 once more and I’ll know I’m supposed to go to Kenya.”
The following days went by. I felt in my heart this stirring taking place. The thought of learning to let go AGAIN for the millionth time in these six months made me extremely uncomfortable.
One of the days I felt in my heart to begin writing. The Lord is amazing and will speak through me as I begin to write things down.
The entry read:
“But when I think of Kenya and obeying what God has called me to do it feels uncomfortable. But in a good yet strange way. Is it possible that He who is able to DO ALL THINGS is taking me to a place of discomfort to radically transform my heart again? Is this His way of breaking another wall down so I may experience the richness of His glory and thus be able to fully abide and trust in His will? I’m not impulsively making the decision to go to Kenya because it’s what I want to do. No I know this is from the Lord because it’s uncomfortable and it’s one of those things where I’ve had to come to His feet and seek His guidance. Kenya. Something so simple is being used as a way to show me a part of my heart that needs to change.”
The day I wrote that, was the day I made the decision to say yes. Keep in mind, the Lord only brought me to Joshua 1 twice at this point. I called my sister to process my thoughts and feelings. While I was talking to her and processing my thoughts, she felt in her heart to tell me about this book called, “The Sun Stands Still.” Not knowing that I challenged the Lord to bring me to Joshua 1 three times, she told me that the theme of the book is about audacious faith. She didn’t remember who it was that told the sun to stand still until her husband reminded her that it was Joshua.
Though it wasn’t Joshua 1 it was still encouraging because going to Kenya means having the same kind of faith Joshua had.
Encouraged, I called Tia the cofounder of Flourish Kenya and told her all that the Lord has been doing and to ultimately tell her that I’m going to obey the Lord and go.
When I was talking to her, I felt this peace come over my body. The feelings of discomfort went away and were replaced with overwhelming joy. It was the Lord and this was His will. In this moment, I realized why the Lord brought me back to Photography at the time that He did. I realized that He is making my long forgotten dream of becoming a photojournalist a reality. Oh how He loves us.
That night, I got an email saying, “Lucas Matthew donated $10 to your World Race Fund.” Lucas is 6 and the son of my dear sister in the Lord. It brought me so much joy. I called Lucas’ mom to tell him thank you. Bincy also not knowing about Joshua 1, told me that she’d been reading from Joshua 1. There it was the third time. Joshua 1.
As I conclude this, I have tears in my eyes. Sometimes I can’t fathom the amount of grace and mercy the Lord has over our lives. Even in the midst of our trials and disbelief, He’s with us and fighting for us.
Until next time,
Xoxo Krysti
P.S. This was on the package I received today.
