Not being able to see is trippy. Literally, I trip a lot. I feel seasick in a way… Also, in the process of trying to see, my brain a trouble with words and emotions. It is hard to speak, my words are all discombobulated and I am extra a lot of the time cause I feel slightly pathetic. To top it off… headache. These are my symptoms.
But…
So many beautiful things have happened in the last two days! Two things I have discovered is my hearing has improved a bit and my reflex has heightened. Played an awesome game of ping pong (thanks for letting me win Connor). But on a serious note… the Lord has been teaching me about how to surrender.
Surrender: (verb) cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.
Sounds a lot like defeat. And it is when you surrender to the wrong person. Surrender to the Lord and you have complete freedom. Out of love the Lord calls the church to submit to him and surrender their lives for his glory. He is a perfect God and leads with grace and love; there is no one more worthy of following. I am learning that God wants what is best for me… whether it looks like I thought it would or even if it’s not what I wanted in the first place.
Surrender: I’ve given my sight over to the Lord now I give control. Can’t control what I can’t see #myfuture. I can choose to sit in the driver’s seat but I’m gonna get lost and crash. In Psalm 37:4 it says the Lord will give you the desires of your heart but in Jeremiah 17:9 it says that the heart is deceitful. Confused? When you surrender your life to God your desires line up with his. Matthew 6:21, Psalm 37:5, Matthew 6: 33, Proverbs 16:9 and so many more confirms that when you truly and completely surrender to the Lord and seek him with all that you are you find true freedom.
Can’t control God. Not possible. So I have decided, cause everything is a choice, to surrender my desire for control. Letting God drive, getting in the backseat and not backseat driving. God doesn’t get lost and he would never lead me astray.
Day 2-3 were a little ruff. I truly struggled seeing the positive. But, God is good and gave me lots of grace. Again, I encourage ya’ll to look up the scripture above for yourselves and comment what you think. I love hearing feedback; as long as it’s backed up with scripture. Love ya’ll and please continue praying for me as I journey with the Lord in this season of fasting.
