Hello! So this is my second coffee blog. Welcome. I shall be writing about a challenging book partnered with a fabulous cup of Nicaraguan coffee. So this book stirred some complex emotions… I will do my best to write my strangely structured thoughts in this post.
So the book that I read while in Nicaragua is called Unashamed by Christine Caine. This post is a compilation of the book and my own thoughts.
So chapter one: right out of the gate, Christine just starts throwing questions at me: Does shame have power over my life? Who am I? Why was I created? It was ridiculous. Then all of the sudden the word reveal pops up. The definition for reveal is: to make something known. So your girl has something to learn and it’s only the first chapter. That’s how you know it’s gonna be so good but it’s gonna hurt like the dickens.
Shame is a painful emotion that whispers lies to us, a continuous game of hide and seek. Shame says hide like in Genesis 3 when Adam and Eve hid from God in the garden. They saw that they were naked and hid themselves from his sight… Shame makes us hide from God, from each other and from ourselves. My favorite part of this story known as “the fall” is when God asks, “Where are you?”, as if he didn’t already know where they were. It’s crazy to me… Adam and Eve screwed up big but God seeks after them anyway. Blows my mind! He wanted Adam and Eve to come to him just like he wants us to come to him… to seek him like he seeks us. All this in the first chapter… but there is more…
Grace gets tossed into the picture. Grace: undeserved but given anyway. God shows us grace. Our mess does not scare him and it is awesome. He showers us with love and fills our hearts with hope. In the book it asks the question, “How do I explain a God encounter?”… and Christine describes it as “the touch of God on my heart”. God really went to work in the next couple of chapters… that touched corners of my heart I didn’t even know were there. Fun times.
It has recently come to my attention that… to be healed, we must acknowledge ALL of our wounds. I don’t like that, sharing my wounded heart is not my strong suit. But freedom is honest… a nothing hidden voyage. A vulnerable journey if you will… again not on my to do list. But these corners on my heart that I mentioned earlier were and still are hidden in the dark. In 1 John 1:5 is says, “that God is light and in him is no darkness at all. So with God on me means that there is not darkness and that I am to walk in the light.
The next theme that pops up is purpose. Which is something that I struggle with… also something I don’t wanna talk about it but here we are. So in my head I’m thinking of all the things that I struggle with, all the feelings and pain I locked away to protect myself and the ones I love. When thinking of these things I have a worldly point of view. What’s cool is that is not how God sees me. He says I am made in his image (Genesis 1:26-27). That I am an image-bearer NOT a shame-bearer. Changing the way I perceive myself is a step in waking in freedom.
Wait, there’s more… God has given us the power to choose. We have a choice in how we look at ourselves and how long we sit in the dark. The book brings in 2 Kings 7:3-4, about the lepers that were just chilling at the gate… they were between a rock and a hard place for sure. If they stay at the gate they die, if they enter the city that is plagued with famine they die, or they could got to the Syrian camp right outside the city and only maybe die. Then they were like “Why are we just sitting here?”… a valid question. So they got up and walked to the camp. The Lord was looking out for them… because the camp was empty. For the sake of not making this blog super super long I will skip ahead but I encourage you to go read this story cause it is ridiculously cool. So fast forward… They lived and ate, were clothed, and to top it off were blessed with gold and silver. We have a choice… sit at a gate or walk in faith.
Then there’s this whole thing about the beauty of the wilderness… interesting. When I think of wilderness I think on when the Israelites walked around 40 years which does not sound beautiful to me… but it is! The wilderness is just a season that exposes us and teaches us to lean on God. It comes in many forms and fashions and is never somer we go looking for, does not sound beautiful. The wilderness’s purpose is to expose and get rid of the baggage that we carry in order to get to our promise land. Thats the beautiful part… God’s got something far better on the other side of the wilderness. It’s like winter turning to spring. It is also a way that God prepares us for our next journey through a different wilderness, because like the seasons… they change and are in continuous cycle.
This is the most difficult lesson that I learned and a still learning… vulnerability. Because I am stubborn I have dragged my feet through the mud, don’t do that it takes longer than necessary, but I’m working on it. Basically what’s going on is that in order to be fully healing of my wounds I must be vulnerable, starting with myself. There are some things I didn’t even know I was holding onto until this past month. I am in the process of inviting God, with an open heart, to move into the deep places of my heart and soul. To change my way of thinking and put away my defense mechanisms and to let God in. To hold on to the truth: God loves me.
Throughout this whole thing this word love is ever present. The truth of the matter is that throughout everything love is a constant. This kind of love is mind blowing… it is unconditional, everlasting and perfect in every way. The is the love God showers on us through the wilderness, through the pain, through the gates, through he shame. It will forever blow my mind not matter the season I am in
That’s all folks. Thank you for journeying through that with me… it was a bit long so…sorry not sorry cause it needed to be done. Next coffee blog will be in Costa Rica don’t know the book yet so could be a while. Till next time!
