“But to each of us grace has been given as Christ has apportioned it.” Ephesians 4:7
I’m going to honest with y’all, when I began this journey, as in first began seriously considering and researching the World Race. I headed out tentatively to say the least. Even though I felt like God had laid this call on my life, I was doubtful I would ever seriously pursue such a mighty feat as this. Basically, I told God, “I really don’t know about this, but I feel strong enough about this that I’ll be obedient until you close this door.”
With that in mind, I filled in my application, completed my phone interview, and waited for the World Race adviser’s call. I remember the day I received the phone call confirming I’d been accepted into the World Race program. I was at work on my lunch break, and therefore I took the call outside. The kind woman on the other side excitedly informed me that I’d been accepted, and she was passionate about beginning this journey with me!
Honestly, I was speechless. My first and only comprehensible thought, “But, God, why didn’t you shut this door? What am I supposed to do now? You were supposed to shut that door.” I muddled my way through that phone call expressing my shock, and returned to work.
Since then I’ve tried my best to be obedient, as I’d promised God from the start. Going forward, through several fundraisers, one route transfer, opening my heart and sharing with others, and a variety of visions and revelations from the Almighty. God has been MORE that faithful in equipping, growing, preparing, and blessing me!
However, through all this incredible blessing, in the back of my mind, I guess I’ve still been prepared for the door to slam shut. Yesterday, after a highly successful bake sale, I came home feeling enthusiastic, passionate, and excited. Suddenly, though, I felt reality fall on my shoulders like a massive pile of fluffy pillows. (I don’t want to use a ton of bricks as a simile because this reality didn’t hurt so much as it took my breath away and was overwhelming.)
All I could think was, “Oh my word, this is happening! This is REALLY happening!” I began to laugh and sob simultaneously as I fell to my knees praying, “God, can I really do this?”
With the reality of this exciting, scary, and life-changing adventure before me, I have been at my highest highs and lowest lows. See, this is the most incredible opportunity God is opening before me, but its also the biggest, anxiety-inducing, and intimidating. What do you do when the most amazing blessing is also the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
I’m leaving behind a family that I adore, 8 little siblings that look up to me, two precious nieces that will grow so much, a job that I love, a new church that I’m just finding my place in, a writing career that will be put on hold, and so much more in obedience to the Father that promised He will equip me as has He called me.
How do I deal with the enormous surrender and challenge of leaping so far out in faith? The only answer that God has given me for now is this: I need to pray. I will pray, pray, pray, and never stop praying until my faith is bigger than my fears!
