This is a very difficult story to share. I can’t do a good enough job to convey the authentic trust in the Spirit, unconditional pursuit of the Lord, or the love for Jesus Christ shared with me. This is the story of Duke, a man who unknowingly accepted Christ and knowingly gave up everything and everyone to remain in His presence. Part 2 of 3. (read part 1 here).
Growing in concern, Wife asked Duke if he still practices Islam. Duke said of course, he just didn’t know why it had to be done the way everyone seems to prescribe and wants to pray in a less confined, methodical way. Receiving this as confirmation of the leaders and elders, Wife expressed she thought Duke became a Christian. Duke laughed at the concept and expressed that he is not Christian, he still believes in God, he has no problem going to mosque, and he will continue to practice as she asks of him. He also explained that he felt this was not the only way to worship and express his faith. Wife’s fear and concern subsided for a bit, but was not relieved.
Duke continued to read the Quran and the Ingil, still looking for guidance and answers to his original questions (which took place nearly 15 years ago at this point). Again, instead of receiving answers, Duke considered more questions.
Wife continued to see affliction in Duke and attributed it to his interest in what she perceived as Christianity. Having addressed it with her community once more, Wife was convinced Duke had lied to her and was in fact, a Christian so she confronted him. This time, Wife accused Duke of being a Christian. Understanding the social, cultural, and legal implications of such an accusation, Duke denied it and assured her he would revert to worship as is templated by Islam. Wife’s concern subsided again, but was not relieved, again – she felt it best that she and their young daughter separate from Duke until he was healed of this Christian-like affliction. Wishing the most comfort for his young family (at this point, the married couple are in their mid-twenties with an infant child), he opted to sleep at work (not a difficult decision since each day, his long hours were typically met with cold or no food prepared, a dark house, a sleeping child, and an uninterested wife). Wife agreed to weekly visits with her daughter so Duke could maintain a relationship with the child, but under the guidance of community leaders and with a fearful eye, decided Duke’s visits with the girl were enabling his evil influence. Duke wanted his daughter to express herself freely – to dance, to sing, to play, to speak as she felt rather than in a manner that fit the template for a female child in his community; Wife limited Duke’s visitation to private meetings, ensuring his embarrassment would be confined to their home.
Duke continued to behave in such a way that Wife felt he was growing farther from God and was now positive he was trying to destroy their daughter by leading her from God, teaching her shameful things to have her outcasted and scorned by her community.
Receiving recommendations and guidance from her community leaders again, Wife brought up the idea of a divorce with Duke. Duke was blindsided. He recognized that Wife didn’t understand or agree with his confused desire to express his faith and seemingly individualist ideals, but he hadn’t yet realized how severe her perception and reaction truly were. Duke was no longer able to subside her concern (which had graduated to fear, which then graduated to contempt). He learned his visitation with their daughter would now be limited further and with increasingly less frequency.
Falling into what is most accurately described as depression, Duke began living at work full time – food was easy enough to come by in the area, water was available for bathing, and he had grown to accept the idea of existing in the small trade shop permanently, but he still wanted the best for his wife and daughter. Duke began keeping only enough money to feed himself – the rest would be delivered to his wife and daughter to provide a warm house, food on the table, and luxury comforts. Though Duke had what he believed to be a pure heart and good intentions for his family, Wife felt that his behavior was a continuous string of efforts to maintain an evil influence on the family. Claiming fear for herself and daughter, Wife expressed the danger Duke presented to her family, his family, his employer, his community, and their mosque. Instantly, Duke became an outsider. Instantly, Duke became the enemy. Instantly, Duke lost everything.
Duke received a phone call from his mother. In tears, she explained that she has repented for him but it was not enough, he had done evil in the eyes of the Lord and she could not repair it. She informed Duke he would no longer be welcome as a part of the family. A similar call came from Wife’s family. And his employer. And members of the community. Feeding himself became difficult. Finding work became difficult. Going outside at all, became difficult.
In the midst of all the chaos and pain created by his inappropriate prayer preferences and interests, Duke prayed more. If for no other reason but to keep to himself, Duke felt most comfortable speaking directly to God, asking more and more questions – what is a Christian? What if he was one? Do Christians pray directly to God? Duke grew in prayer and what he would learn to be trust, and the Spirit.
Duke continued work as an independent tradesman and was able to support himself enough to remain working – it was a hand-to-mouth income situation, but he was existing. Eventually, a man named Paul entered his shop. Obviously, as a white, Western, foreigner, Paul would know all about Christianity and could answer his questions. Hesitantly, Duke confirmed Paul was a Christian and shared his desire to ask the list of questions he had been adding to for years. Paul was the first person he had encountered that was willing and able to discuss his questions; Duke closed his shop, presented him with a Bible he had acquired, and asked for help to understand.
Surprised, Paul asked where he got the Bible, how he learned about Jesus, and much more, all with the intent to understand Duke’s history so he could best facilitate their conversation. Duke became nervous and fearful of Paul’s questions and ended the conversation. Understanding the position he put him in, Paul agreed to leave, but let Duke know he would return to pick-up his order. Duke acknowledged, completed the transaction, and re-opened his shop. Before leaving, Paul asked if Duke would be interested in meeting his friend Christopher – a man he knew from Duke’s country, could speak the same language, and had a similar story. He hoped Christopher could help ease Duke’s mind and provide some positive perspective, but in the same state of nervousness and fear, Duke declined and Paul left.
