On April 11, 2019 I lost Kyle Riley-Griffiths. Kyle was a basketball and football teammate, we danced together, we ate food together, we laughed together, we struggled through algebra homework together freshman together and so many other memories.
My heart was in tears and my head was scrambled the day of. The next week was good Friday and I was feeling anything but good leading up to that day. I do Young Life ministry which is where we lead kids younger than us and play games with them every other week and then tell them a little bit about Jesus towards the end of our time together. This week was my time to tell the kids about Jesus and I was not wanting to talk about Jesus. I felt betrayed by Jesus for taking Kyle. I was angry, I had lost trust, I felt alone, I felt like Jesus was leaving me and beating me. But he had a plan.
I got up to talk and God broke down the feelings flow in front of about 40 kids I have loved the past year and a half.
I started by talking about how Jesus died on that good Friday morning close to 2000 years ago and the room immediately became silent. I then asked for hands to see who there has known someone that has died. Well over half the kids raised their hands. These kids where only in middle school. Why do they have to experience this pain? I had to take a step back. Then, the tears came. I told them about Kyle.
I then described how there is the possibility that I may never get to see Kyle’s smile again, hear his laugh, play basketball with him, eat pizza with him again because death conquered him.
Kids were dead silent and glued to every word as some sniffled as they felt the same pain thinking of passing friends or family in their own lives.
I then brought Jesus back into the picture and told them how he conquered the grave and gave us a way out by raising from the dead.
“There is a way where we can see your smiling faces for eternity, eat tacos with y’all for eternity, jump into lakes for eternity, laugh together for eternity, and do whatever for eternity in this place called Heaven, if you believe in Jesus. I may not see Kyle in Heaven, but I want to see your faces there, I want to be there with you for eternity. I need you in heaven with me.”
Tears fell like boulders as I closed in prayer. I was then embraced in a hug by 40 students and my Young Life team. More tears fell. A sequence of I love you’s followed. More tears fell.
As I write this more tears fall for a couple reasons. First, mourning for Kyle. Next, thanking god for the opportunity to speak into kids’ lives. But most importantly I took a deep pain where I felt attacked, very vulnerable and like God had left me and turned it on its head. It planted deep seeds that have turned kids to asking God to be a part of their lives. I will be laughing with my kids in Young Life for eternity, something I did not see April 11th but God did.
I don’t know God’s plan for my life, but I do know that God is doing a lot behind the scenes. He is always fighting for me. He is always by my side. He has guided me to this point, he will guide me today, he will guide me on the World Race, and he will guide me after. Thank you, God, for letting me be a messenger, I am honored.
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
