Romans 8:15. ”For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
Flickering airport lights that welcome the weary and the wandering. I mutter a praise for the illuminance that guides me to my departure gate. A week strangled with precious faces and, “see you laters.” I sat in C17 observing the rushing families and gritting my teeth because I had forgotten to take off my lavender nail polish. My gray eyes are hugged by a familiar shadow of darkness. A $4.00 coffee that laid on the front of my white shirt, quickly I thumbed through my backpack to snag my hand-dandy Tide To-Go. Vigorously I scrapped with the stain, eager to erase its imperfections before it can be visualized. After an impressive 3 minutes, my blouse returned to it’s lightest, achromatic color. White, it is the color of fresh snow, of milk that nourishes our children. It scatters wavelengths of light, completely reflecting each hue. A representation of purity, a longing of perfect that I spent tireless efforts sprinting for. Only to realize that I dressed in black to hide the discolorations of my sin.
As I waited for the orange caution signs, and ironed flight attendants to wave me onto my aircraft out of my sweet Texas sky, I was startled with conviction. How often do we take away our humanity, by telling ourselves that authenticity is not enough? What an impressive joy it is to be stained! My Abba, chose me knowing every flaw that rests on my white shirt. Even after my exhausted efforts to overcompensate for my lacking, He smiles in my favor and with strong hands, He finds he where I am and lifts me a little higher. Another gift.
((I wrote the piece above a day after I arrived for Training camp.))
It has been nearly one week since my departure from home. My days spent in entanglement with my brothers and sisters. Lovely people who were once strangers to me, my mind cannot begin to comprehend leaving their side at the end of this journey. Training camp as it was called, but I reference It as a home. Surrounded in the spirit that flooded from fresh faces of each new family member. My heart rate continues to bounce in a rapid range of 120 BPM, as I replay worship nights.
Scream singing,
“Do whatever you wanna do
And say whatever you wanna say
And move whatever you wanna move
And change whatever you wanna change
My heart is an open space for you to come and have your way
I’m open, I’m open”
Praise God!
Friends, please pray for my team. Pray that as we are painted with His grace, our colors bleed into the hearts of many. That we will seek first the Kingdom of God. Pray to eradicate anything that is not from God, in the name of Christ Jesus. Pray for our commission, that hearts will be reached and our holy family expanded. Pray that we will love, everybody always. John 15:17.
Much love! Pics coming soon.
-Han
