“I don’t want to miss out on, things that I hide from// Oh these days, I’ve been running// Running so hard from your love// But now I’m on the run.” Corey Harper.
I never considered myself to be naturally athletic growing up. I enjoyed most sports and physical activities. I spent 8 years involved with dance and drill team. However, there was one activity I loathed for a majority of my adolescence…running. High school me dreaded my drill team two-a-days. We were expected to run one mile a few times a week. ONE mile- but it felt like fifty. Little did I know at the time that I am an excellent runner, emotionally and spiritually that is.
I am a runner. When it comes to fight or flight instincts, please believe that I will be the first to make a mad dash out of a sticky situation. I did it before I knew Jesus, and I have ran from Him countless times since I gave my life to Him. I have had my fair share of playing hide and go seek with God; knowing good and well that He sees me, exactly as I am. He knows my human heart, which naturally deceitful. He knows my sins, my failures, my fears, and my brokenness.
I ran from the one who saved me.Each time that I thought I could clean myself up before presenting myself to Him, He was completely aware of my shambles. He was not oblivious to my emptiness simply because I recited beautiful prayers and pretended as if I was fully satisfied.
Funny isn’t it?
When I was at my worst, when I have been at my breaking points, when I could not get myself together, and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do with me, in that moment, that is when Jesus Christ called me where I stood, and shouted, “That one! I. Choose. Her.”
There I stood, fully exposed, drenched with disgust from my sins, exhausted from running, and in awe of a God that delights in me.
Like the Corey Harper lyrics above, God does not want me to miss out on, the things I hide from. I had been running from His love, when all I had to do was running towards it.
I am encouraged each day to surrender all of myself to Christ. After accepting Him, perfection remains far from my grasp, with the exception of His love. His perfect love. Leading me to my final point in this post.
In December of 2018, after nearly two years of prayer, I took a quiet leap of faith and applied for World Race Semesters. A few weeks later, i received the sweetest phone call, informing me that I was invited to mission to Thailand and Cambodia. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed. Running, a personal talent that turned into a spiritual burden, has now evolved by His grace into a gift that I will use to take me into the field. With Jesus as my running coach and partner, I am elated to lace up my shoes and make a steady stride to Southeast Asia, to encounter God’s heart for the nations.
I pray that I will be a vessel, aiding in the assembling of a vast family. That one day, “every tribe and tongue and people and nation”, will be present in His kingdom. As I begin this journey, I pray to have the senses to recognize God’s harvest and love in His people. That I will immerse myself in the work of the gospel in distant lands and in my home. After all, who wouldn’t love a front row seat to God’s heart in action? As for me, I remain on the run, with Jesus at my side, as He guides my heart to Thailand and Cambodia.
