In John 14
Jesus is talking to His friends
And at one point He says,
“Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know Me?”
Jesus had already proven Himself in so many ways at this point
Reading the passage, you can almost sense the hurt in Jesus’ voice
He’s probably thinking
Haven’t I been a good friend to you?
Haven’t I been trustworthy?
I had panic attacks growing up. I’d begin shaking uncontrollably. And straight away, I’d go and find my father and fall into his embrace. The shaking wouldn’t stop straight away. But I knew that I could trust my father. And I knew that his embrace made me feel safer than anywhere else in the world. Eventually, the shaking would subside and I’d fall asleep in his arms. There is truly nothing like the embrace of my father. Nobody gives a better hug. Once I got to college, I didn’t have my father’s embrace to fall into anymore. I couldn’t run to his bedside for comfort. The Lord was asking me to trust Him instead. In the midst of a panic attack freshman year, I asked the Lord to take them from me. And I haven’t had one since.
However, that doesn’t mean the anxious thoughts have completely stopped. And lately they’ve been keeping me up at night. But then I ran across this question from Jesus and I felt like He was posing it to me. Saying, “Hailey, I’ve been with you all your life, even before your own father knew you. I have been a faithful Father to you. I have taken care of you. Why do you think I’ll suddenly stop and go back on my word?”
It’s impossible for God to go back on His word because that would mean He would have to change an aspect of His character. And He already told me that He is the same today, yesterday and forever (Hebrews 13:8) and that He does not change (Malachi 3:6). That means He is always a keeper of promises (Psalm 145:13b) and an ever present help in times of need (Psalm 46:1). And that He is with me always, even beyond the end of my life (Matthew 28:20).
I think the Lord made me trust my earthly father in that way so He could show me He was an even more trustworthy Father. I had a dream earlier this week about seeing my parents again and running into their arms. I woke up wanting it to be reality so much, because I just miss their embrace! But then the Lord led me to “if anyone loves Me, he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him” (John 14:23).
If I find such great comfort at home with my earthly father, how much greater comfort should I feel knowing that Jesus has made His home in me and that He is with me all the time? If I trust my earthly father to be a safe place, how much more should I trust Jesus to be a safe place for me? If I feel such love in an embrace from my earthly father, how much more love should I feel in an embrace from my Heavenly one? If I trust my earthly father to such a great extent, how much greater should I trust my Heavenly Father?
When I start doubting Him, I have to remind myself of who I know He is. And that He will always be there for me.
Love y’all. Jesus loves you more though. He knows how to be a good Father. And even more than that, He wants to be a good Father. That’s so cool.
