Dear Racer,
I can’t imagine the feeling of disappointment that you are feeling. I know you have worked so hard to get to where you are. The hours spent fundraising and the hell you went through of spiritual warfare while you were preparing as well as while on the Race. God is looking down on you with the biggest wrinkly grin on His face because He is that dang proud of you. He is proud of you for obeying even when you were abruptly called to leave what you felt like was home for the next few months. I am not here to tell you “Its a part of God’s plan” because I am sure you will get that enough upon returning home. It is okay to be frustrated and upset with God’s plan. Its okay that you don’t always understand.
Here are some things I wish people would have told me upon my time of entry:
– It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed. Its normal to go into so much culture shock that you cry looking at shampoo in target. You are not weak for that. It’s okay that you might feel like everything has changed around you or like people forgot about you. Things have changed, and that can seem overwhelming but I promise that God will reveal your most loyal people to you. He takes good care of His children.
– BOUNDARIES!!!!! Remember that you do not owe everyone an explanation of everything and a free ticket into your heart. You are going to be feeling so many emotions and everyone will ask you how your trip was upon arrival. Chose who you allow yourself to process with. Find the people who genuinely want to hear every detail about your trip, or would be down to just sit in silence while you process. Find the people who want to hear how God worked but also the times when you felt most defeated. These people are out there I promise you. Don’t waste your time trying to process and unpack your heart with someone who is asking how your trip was out of a conversation starter. Don’t be offended when people carry on quickly even if you just respond with “good.” Many people do not know where to start in asking about your trip and there is grace for that!!!!
-Understand that when you get home, not everyone is going to understand. That being said, they might see you returning as a gain while you see it as a loss. Keep that in mind. Remind your loved ones that your emotions are not in result to being home with them, but in result to the feeling of what you lost.
– Allow yourself to feel all of the things. As soon as I came back everything felt like a fever dream, and sometimes still does. Allow your heart to heal from what He broke it for and process the hard things. As you are remembering stories and how God moved- write it down! You will want to remember forever.
I am praying for each one of you. Traveling home, debrief, and spending the last few days with your team. God’s hand is over every single part of this.
* I am grieving with you and praying with you. If I can be of any help to any of you returning or a friend to talk to and process with- PLEASE let me know!*
Love,
Georgia Stickler
