This week was hard and long, emotionally. We had to say goodbye (until we get back into America) to one of our team mates early on Monday morning. Elizabeth made us all feel at home and loved each of us in ways we needed to be loved. On Friday, we said goodbye to our care point, and hugged all of the little ones we have grown so emotionally connected to.
When you live in a place for a month, you form relationships with the locals and it is more common to find someone you know on a bus or walking down the street. When you live in a place like Nsoko for a month, you discover peace in new ways. When you live in Nsoko for a month, it starts to feel a lot like home.
The biggest thing I have learned since being here is how to rest and be still. It has been the best thing ever for me and it honestly feels like a new breath of air has been blown into my lungs. I am spiritually well rested. (a side note: another thing i am learning is that if you are not spiritually fueled, a nap is not the answer, ask the Holy Spirit for more and soak in the Word or some worship. physical/emotional/spiritual rest are all different!)
Satan put these thoughts straight into my mind: We are moving to South Africa in 2 days. A city. Where it’s busy. Where we are going to be doing more active things. Where our next stop after this month is America, and back to business. Nothing about those things are bad, in fact they are everything we need. I refused to process leaving and decided I would push that thought away until we actually left.
This is where the title comes in. I decided to look Satan straight in the face and tell him to go back to Hell. Those words seem morbid but when you are living in a constant spirital warfare, then you understand how real that is. I started to believe this month was restoration and next month is putting our fullness into action. This is where God is calling me to and I am being obedient by going. South Africa is going to be incredible & God knows why He is bringing us there. Satan had a good time convincing me it is going to be one heck of a month, and I am going to lose my spiritual rest, but as always, he didnt win.
The next day, my leader Andrew spoke words along the lines of this over us. “Peace is not a place. Peace is the fruit of the spirit given to you. Peace and rest are things you have to fight for in your daily life, but it is able to come to you through the Holy Spirit. Peace is not a place, it is an eternal gift.”
Yesterday, (I am writing this blog in the span of a week haha) some of the girls went on a walk down to the railroad tracks for one last time. We were talking about things we are deciding to leave in Swaziland. We stood at the end of the railroad tracks and picked up rocks, and threw them over the edge to represent things that we are leaving behind. We shouted, yelled truth over the lies, and danced and rejoiced in the freedom of leaving heavy things. How good is our God to take away these things from us and make the burden so light? Some of the things I am deciding to leave in Swaziland are: the desire to be busy and the thought that I need to be everyones saving grace, when in reality I do not hold that power at all.
As we were praying, I asked God to reveal to me what I needed to bring home as my mental souvenir for my time here in Nsoko. He pointed me to a rock, that was perfectly smooth in the midst of a lot of broken and sharp rocks- representing His peace. I knew exactly what that meant as soon as I saw it.
So I guess all I have to say is take that Satan. You didn’t win. I understood how much power peace holds and how it is inside of me. I am taking this and sticking it in my mental toolbox, forever. God is so good!!
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