When asked why I chose my specific world race route my answer was always twofold – Greece & Ethiopia. Finally in Ethiopia, I walked into this month with a boatload of expectations. I expected to hold at least one child everyday. I expected to feel freedom in a country where Christianity is not only legal but the official religion. I expected to easily establish loving relationships with the locals. I put my expectations in tangible things. In things I thought I had control over. My expectations have fallen short. Through the disappointment of these short comings, I have realized the only expectation that counts. I expect God to always be with me and I trust He is more than enough.
This month, my eyes have been open to what brokenness looks like. At home, it was easy to hide brokenness. To hide behind what I have, who I know, and what I do. This form of distraction is not the possible for people here. Too many people walk around everyday simply trying to survive. Homeless people are immediately shooed away. Women are not treated as equals. Everyday is a fight.
Like all of us, the resilient people of Ethiopia deserve to hear the truth. You are beloved. You are chosen. You are worthy. You are a child of the King of Kings.
Mark 4:21 – “‘Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don’t you put it on it’s stand?’”
Using Jesus’ parable to related to my month, I was entrusted with my lamp, the knowledge of Jesus’ love, when I accepted Christ into my heart. I have hidden my lamp many times. Under coverings of a desire to be accepted by my peers or under blankets of perfection believing I would only be loved if I proved I was enough. Everyday I chose to hide my lamp was a loss. Through my walk with God, I have removed the lies that covered the light from my lamp. I have, however, found myself covering my lamp with fear this month.
Mark 4:22 – “‘For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.’”
Fear that if my light shined in the wrong persons face it may not be received well. I am sad that I missed opportunities to share with others the truth – they are worthy and loved by God. Every person who has been deemed worthless by society was actually created out of an overflow of love from God. I believe with my entire heart every single person was intentionally created by God as proof of His unwavering, undeserving, and unconditional love. Light protects us from the deceit of the darkness. With my light in hand, I will tell anyone and everyone they are dearly loved by God and He seeks a relationship with you.
Ethiopia, you are not like anything I expected. You are more. You forced me to see this world for what it is. You forced me fully trust God. You forced me to let go of my expectations in order to walk as a disciple of Christ. At the end of the day I am not guaranteed anything. So long as I have my trust in God, I’ll be okay.
Song – Expectations by Convent Bonfires
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re all I ever want to be
And I’ll keep loving you forever
You are all I expect
I think God is singing this to me as I sing it to Him.
