“I’m reconsidering my decision about the World Race”,
the words surprised me even as I spoke them. It was a peaceful Easter Sunday evening, my parents were finishing up the dishes and I was fiddling around, trying to avoid leaving. I needed to process, and they are always ready to listen. They both looked up, a small hint of surprise mixed with a wise smile. We had had this conversation before, and I couldn’t help but wonder if my own words were merely some wanderlust sentiment driven by a stressful workweek. But something felt different. There was an excitement behind those words, and I wondered if maybe something deeper in me was finally being allowed to surface past my practicality.
I had applied for the World Race in November, been accepted, and decided to hold off on making a final decision until the end of January. The route I had been accepted for didn’t leave until August, so I had some time. At that moment, I was completely focused on just trying to survive my last semester of college while also working 50-60 hours a week as a leader with a couple local Chick-fil-A’s. That season was full of stress, burnout, and an unhealthily amount of fantasizing about leaving all my troubles behind me and gallivanting around the globe. After graduating in December, I tried my best to make the final decision, but felt uneasy about going, something just didn’t feel right. I had also sensed God saying the year of 2019 was to be a year of commitment, my interpretation of that was staying committed to where I was already planted. In the end, with a great deal of reluctance, I asked my admissions counselor to pull my application. I then went into full commitment mode, bought a new car, and decided to settle into my life in PA.
Fast-forward two months later to my parent’s kitchen that Easter evening and clearly there was something more going on. A restlessness was constantly bothering me, telling me that my decision wasn’t as final as I thought. However, it wasn’t until I was willing to actually verbalize it that evening that I was finally able to accept it.
The truth is, I am purposefully pushing myself over the edge of what makes sense to my very logical brain. There is this nagging truth that risk and reliance on God are supposed to be an intricate part of our journey with God. When Jesus says “follow me” I’m pretty sure he means for us to take a step into something completely unknown and dangerously close to the edge of what we view as common sense.
A move that is not in reckless defiance of wisdom but, rather, in pursuit of a life and a faith that are not tied to an American dream or comfort seeking lifestyle.
So here’s to Unscripted 2020, may it be a year of incredible transformation through the pursuit of a radically adventurous God.
